Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Homer Sexual

The Simpsons couldn't be less controversial nowadays. Fox clearly tried to improve ratings by fanning the flames of controversy as Sunday's episode of the Simpsons centered on Springfield's quest for more tourism dollars by legalizing gay marriage. The episode was remarkably bland. Although funnier than the last few episodes of the season, it easily bypassed the more controversial, provocative (and sometimes obvious) jokes.

Yet every few minutes, the local Fox news program had a commerical where "Charlotteans react to the controversy." But it hasn't aired yet, I kept thinking. How can people react? I refused to watch the non-event coverage. Peter did, however, and it turns out one woman called in to say she was never watching Fox again. Now, for Fox, this is actually a huge ratings blow.

I did read an article in the New York Times where the president of the Parents Televison Council said that, despite not viewing the episode in question, gay marriage shouldn't be covered in a cartoon where children would be exposed to the subject matter. Obviously, this raises the question if the person had ever viewed any episode of the Simpsons. If so, he might have guessed that no child should be exposed to almost any single episode of the Simpsons. You would think people policing TV would actually watch it sometimes.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Expressions of Love

I hope everybody had a lovely Valentine's Day. It was pop culture love around the Thorsett-Denton household as we exchanged tokens of affection via The West Wing and Angel.

Even if you had no boyfriend or s.o. to share it with, I hope you loved yourself...in the best possible sense of that phrase. If not, go out and buy yourself some flowers or something nice. It may have been Black Monday, but remember, black is slimming.

Here's a little love from Canada (pulled from Rex Wockner's files):

"It is the responsibility of Parliament to ensure that minority rightsare uniform across the country. The government cannot, and should not, pick and choose which rights they will defend and which rights they will ignore."
--Canadian Justice Minister Irwin Cotler as the government introduced legislation in Parliament Feb. 1 to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide. Courts already have legalized it in eight of Canada's 13 provinces and territories.

And no love for the dear president...

"George Bush's second inaugural extravaganza was every bit as repugnantas I had expected, a vulgar orgy of triumphalism probably unmatched since Napoleon crowned himself emperor of the French in Notre Dame in1804. The little Corsican corporal had a few decent victories to his escutcheon. Lodi, Marengo, that sort of thing. Not so this strutting Texan mountebank, with his chimpanzee smirk and his born-again banalities delivered in that constipated syntax that sounds the way cold cheeseburgers look..., and his sinuous evasions and his brazen lies, and his sleight of hand theft from the American poor, and his rape of the environment, and his lethal conviction that the world must submit to his Pax Americana or be bombed into charcoal."
--Mike Carlton writing in the Sydney Morning Herald, Jan. 22.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

It's a Jungle (and Zoo) Out There

Late last year, a study came out that demonstrated that stress in cows' lives increases them being lesbian, at least in Australia.

Far more alarming news, the term "homosexual cow" brings up about 10,000 hits in Google. These two disturbing facts caused everybody's favorite senator, Rick Sanitarium, to urge for the screening of cow meet for homosexuality, lest the American public be turned by too much queer beef. Honest to God, Ricky said on October 8th, "Obviously, this is a matter of grave importance to all parents - this is why I'm committed to making sure packaged beef comes with warning labels if the meat isn't 100% pure heterosexual." I kid you not.

Some conservative alleged intellectuals have suggested that if stress causes homosexuality in cows, then anti-depressants might cure or retard homosexuality in children.

One might try this with penguins as well, since aversion therapy has not succeeded in straighting out some of the queer fowl in Germany. When separated from their mates and forced to socialize with female penguins, the gay male penguins just moped about. Perhaps they needed some Paxil.

Famous New York penguin Roy (of Roy and Silo fame) did recently claim to be bisexual, although the polar bears are saying he was just hanging out with some fag hags.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

I Love Black Women

I do. I loves me some black wemmen.

The bond between gay men and women is legendary, reminiscient of the bond shared between crocodiles and the birds that clean their teeth.

Hmm. Perhaps a better analogy would be...no, that's a pretty accurate parallel. As strong as the bond between gay man and woman can be, I think none are more stronger than that between white gay man and black straight women.

It's almost enough to have your gay license revoked if you are white, gay, and male, and don't have an O.B.S.W. (obligatory black straight woman). I think the bond between us exists so strong because we come from similar circumstances. We are largely overlooked and underestimated by society. We have constant troubles from straight men (hell, men in general, for that matter). We're self-assured and usually sassy about it. And we know we look good no matter what you think about our outfit. It is fab-u-lous, Mr. Mann.

My entire life black women have helped me out. I didn't become aware of this until college, but black women have always stood by my side, even before I was out to myself. They have offered support while shining the harsh light of truth on you. Black women do not let you delude yourself. Are you crying on her shoulder because you've lost your boyfriend by sleeping around? She'll let you know she loves you, but, yes, you are a slut and you need to stop your whoring ways.

Admitedly, not every black woman had been kind or helpful to me (and neither I to to them), but this only brings on bad karma. Somewhere, somehow, they have suffered for breaking the great karmic balance. That's why it's vitally important to treat all black women with respect and dignity. Even if you don't know them, even if they are taking too long to cross the street in those hotpants three sizes too small, you must treat them well. To do otherwise is to invite disaster upon yourself ("oooh, it's gonna rain on yo' head').

Black women are fabulous and fierce. White gay men aspire to be black women, to release our I.N.P.(Inner Nubian Princess).

At the worst time of my life, a black woman gave me strength I didn't possess. At the sickest I've ever been, I was nursed and cared for by a black woman. At my first big interview, I was given a helping hand (literally) from a black woman (she was lesbian, but I love my lesbian sisters too). Whenever I become a drag queen, I have picked the name of a black woman (either Crystal Love or Delicia Butts).

A black woman, Coretta Scott King, has been a vocal advocate for LBGT rights and marriage.

A black woman, Rosa Parks, fueled the black civil rights movement, which gave rise to the gay rights movement.

I hope I have begun to repay some of that love and strength. I try to advocate for all black women whenever I can. I try to give freely of myself to the women who have made my life better.

Black women are beautiful, unpredictable, quick to anger, and full of love and comfort. I think God must be a black woman. Or, at least, I hope so.