I've thought a long time on my response to Robin Hayes, who I will be happily voting out of office in just a few days, my representative who is a co-sponsor of the FMA. I've got a few responses worked out, and I may share one, that are very political and argumentative. The best one, however, has come from Peter, whose devilish genius I adore.
Peter suggests that I forward to the local paper, the Charlotte Observer, the segment of Rep. Hayes's letter (see my post below "This Means War") where he states he "hope[s] we can work together" with a new letter that I compose thanking Rep. Hayes for his wilingness to contribute to gay activisim and issues. I can see the headlines:
Local Representative Pledges to Work on Improving Local Gay Issues
Robin Hayes Offers Support to Local Gay Activists
Congressman Concerned for Gay Constituents
I'm tempted to go through with this.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Waffles With Pitiful Syrup
George Bush came out in opposition to the Republican Party Platform's position on gay civil unions. In an interview Sunday with Charles Gibson of ABC news, which aired this morning, Bush said he favored states giving gay couples civil unions and that the Republican Party Platform, which opposes any type of legal recognition to unions of gay couples, was "wrong" and that he disagreed with it.
Now, to be as fair as possible, Bush has always said he thought that states should decide what kind of legal recognition they wanted to grant to gay couples. But when you strongly and repeatedly state your definition of marriage as a man and a woman, fraternize regularly with leaders of the Christian Religious Right, and constantly call for the passage of a Constitutional Amendment prohibiting gay marriage that would even further eliminate the possibility of one state recognizing the legal rights of another state to a gay couple (DOMA already does this, but the Amendment would solidify this) and has language in it that pretty much opposes civil unions, you lose the slightest ounce of credibility and respect.
Clearly this is a last minute appeal to moderate swing voters. Undoubtably figuring his conservative base will still vote for him, he's not worried about angering them, but more concerned about gaining those uncertain votes. Will it work for him however? Could he lose votes from his base that will now be upset with his statement? They likely won't vote for Kerry, but will they just not vote for Bush? It's hard to imagine what he hoped to gain with this statement. He's been such an adamant support of the FMA that hardly anybody is likely to view him as being moderate or compassionate on this issue. I'll be interested in seeing the Log Cabin Republican response. I'm hoping, and pretty sure, this will not cause them to endorse him at this late point.
Although it's hard to see what he could possibly gain from trying to pass himself off as tolerant (still a negative word - do you think being tolerant of, say, black people, Jews, or women is positive?) , this is just another fake pass at trying to win over voters in this area. Cheney's mention of support for Mary in a town hall meeting, her appearance after his debate with Edwards, and his alleged outrage at Kerry mentioning Mary's name, are all just political tactics. Did anyone really bring up Mary's absence after Cheney's RNC speech despite earlier appearing in the stands with her family?
And, as an aside, I'm sick of the whole Marygate issue. Kerry's mention was awkward and no doubt politically motivated, yet it's no less egregious than the Cheney's own use of Mary's name for their political advantage. And, guess what, Mary is an out lesbian who has used her orientation to help smooth relations between the gay community and Coors brewing company as well as helping the candidacy of her dad and Bush. She's put herself out there as fair game. I see no harm no foul here, folks.
I do cry foul with Bush, however. This just further illustrates his desire to say whatever will get him elected. The man is dumb and lacking principles. He says he stands firm, yet he constantly "updates" and changes his position and explanations to avoid scrutiny or criticism. The sandal is on your own feet, George.
Now, to be as fair as possible, Bush has always said he thought that states should decide what kind of legal recognition they wanted to grant to gay couples. But when you strongly and repeatedly state your definition of marriage as a man and a woman, fraternize regularly with leaders of the Christian Religious Right, and constantly call for the passage of a Constitutional Amendment prohibiting gay marriage that would even further eliminate the possibility of one state recognizing the legal rights of another state to a gay couple (DOMA already does this, but the Amendment would solidify this) and has language in it that pretty much opposes civil unions, you lose the slightest ounce of credibility and respect.
Clearly this is a last minute appeal to moderate swing voters. Undoubtably figuring his conservative base will still vote for him, he's not worried about angering them, but more concerned about gaining those uncertain votes. Will it work for him however? Could he lose votes from his base that will now be upset with his statement? They likely won't vote for Kerry, but will they just not vote for Bush? It's hard to imagine what he hoped to gain with this statement. He's been such an adamant support of the FMA that hardly anybody is likely to view him as being moderate or compassionate on this issue. I'll be interested in seeing the Log Cabin Republican response. I'm hoping, and pretty sure, this will not cause them to endorse him at this late point.
Although it's hard to see what he could possibly gain from trying to pass himself off as tolerant (still a negative word - do you think being tolerant of, say, black people, Jews, or women is positive?) , this is just another fake pass at trying to win over voters in this area. Cheney's mention of support for Mary in a town hall meeting, her appearance after his debate with Edwards, and his alleged outrage at Kerry mentioning Mary's name, are all just political tactics. Did anyone really bring up Mary's absence after Cheney's RNC speech despite earlier appearing in the stands with her family?
And, as an aside, I'm sick of the whole Marygate issue. Kerry's mention was awkward and no doubt politically motivated, yet it's no less egregious than the Cheney's own use of Mary's name for their political advantage. And, guess what, Mary is an out lesbian who has used her orientation to help smooth relations between the gay community and Coors brewing company as well as helping the candidacy of her dad and Bush. She's put herself out there as fair game. I see no harm no foul here, folks.
I do cry foul with Bush, however. This just further illustrates his desire to say whatever will get him elected. The man is dumb and lacking principles. He says he stands firm, yet he constantly "updates" and changes his position and explanations to avoid scrutiny or criticism. The sandal is on your own feet, George.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
The Great Pumpkin Day
Halloween is one of my most favorite holidays. It is, perhaps coincidentally, probably the most gay of holidays. When else is acting like you're somebody else more acceptable? Thousands of people go into the closet and pick out some new identity to wear for a few hours that night. You get candy and tricks. Straight men and gay men alike bond in the socially acceptable post-dawn hours to wear drag in public loud and proud.
Halloween is about fun. Forget myths about poison in candy and fruit (it never happened). Adults get to be kids again and forget the responsibilities of work and other drudgeries. And being gay should be about having fun. Often it's not, unfortunately, but it should. Our difference should be celebrated and enjoyed. We should be able to dress however we want, flamboyant to conservative, femme to butch, whatever our "costume" is.
Halloween is about confronting demons and devils. The dark of life is brought out and celebrated. We can't have light without the darkness and confronting our demons can only elevate us. Halloween is about scaring away evil spirits and we certainly have plenty of evil to dispel in this world.
Halloween is about carving jack o lanterns. It's a chance to put on a new "face" to the world. It's a time to be creative. Gay people are some of the most artistic people in the world. Here is a chance to show it in design and art.
Halloween is about giving, just don't give your trick something he doesn't want. We give candy to kids or money to unicef. It's about doing something for others. The queer community needs to continue to help each other out and not fragment. We all need each other to lean on from time to time, the song goes. Halloween can be a symbol for year-long work. And you thought Christmas was only about the spirit of helping humankind.
Here's to caramel apples, grinning ghouls, good friends, and a chance to be as gay as we want anywhere we want.
And may you receive no rocks in your treat bag.
Halloween is about fun. Forget myths about poison in candy and fruit (it never happened). Adults get to be kids again and forget the responsibilities of work and other drudgeries. And being gay should be about having fun. Often it's not, unfortunately, but it should. Our difference should be celebrated and enjoyed. We should be able to dress however we want, flamboyant to conservative, femme to butch, whatever our "costume" is.
Halloween is about confronting demons and devils. The dark of life is brought out and celebrated. We can't have light without the darkness and confronting our demons can only elevate us. Halloween is about scaring away evil spirits and we certainly have plenty of evil to dispel in this world.
Halloween is about carving jack o lanterns. It's a chance to put on a new "face" to the world. It's a time to be creative. Gay people are some of the most artistic people in the world. Here is a chance to show it in design and art.
Halloween is about giving, just don't give your trick something he doesn't want. We give candy to kids or money to unicef. It's about doing something for others. The queer community needs to continue to help each other out and not fragment. We all need each other to lean on from time to time, the song goes. Halloween can be a symbol for year-long work. And you thought Christmas was only about the spirit of helping humankind.
Here's to caramel apples, grinning ghouls, good friends, and a chance to be as gay as we want anywhere we want.
And may you receive no rocks in your treat bag.
Get Out and Vote Unless You're Voting for Bush
I'm tired of businesses, organizations, and people to just "get out and vote" and "excercise their right." Yah, yah, it's all great and all that people participate in the "democratic process"; a process that is increasingly under suspicion as being democratic, fair, or untainted. But nevermind that, I don't want just anybody voting. I'm taking the very non-politicially correct stance that I don't want you voting unless you're voting to elect John Kerry president and voting out every politician who bows to the whims of the Religious Right.
If you believe that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry, that gays shouldn't be a protected work class, that you should be able to legislate your religious beliefs on the rest of the country, that you can't criticize a "war-time" president regardless of his lies and lack of planning and adequate support for our military without being a traitor, that America should force it ideas of democracy and government on the rest of the world, that a guy whose dad bought him a cushy job in a military unit that he may or may not have actually worked has the right to question the service record or even suggest that he can do a better job defending our country than a man who actually went overseas to one of the most hellish wars that Americans have fought, that you need an SUV to drive around your suburban neighbor, that you worry that some terrorist is going to drop a nuclear bomb on you while taking your kids to soccer practice in aforementioned SUV, or that Jesus would approve of the death penalty but not abortion, then I want you to stay home. Go ahead and take the day off work. Relax. Sit down with your favorite drink and watch the election results come in.
Because, really, if you believe any of the above, you're doing a greater disservice to our country in voting than contributing to the democratic process.
If you believe that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry, that gays shouldn't be a protected work class, that you should be able to legislate your religious beliefs on the rest of the country, that you can't criticize a "war-time" president regardless of his lies and lack of planning and adequate support for our military without being a traitor, that America should force it ideas of democracy and government on the rest of the world, that a guy whose dad bought him a cushy job in a military unit that he may or may not have actually worked has the right to question the service record or even suggest that he can do a better job defending our country than a man who actually went overseas to one of the most hellish wars that Americans have fought, that you need an SUV to drive around your suburban neighbor, that you worry that some terrorist is going to drop a nuclear bomb on you while taking your kids to soccer practice in aforementioned SUV, or that Jesus would approve of the death penalty but not abortion, then I want you to stay home. Go ahead and take the day off work. Relax. Sit down with your favorite drink and watch the election results come in.
Because, really, if you believe any of the above, you're doing a greater disservice to our country in voting than contributing to the democratic process.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Master DeBaters Pt 1
Same old same old. I do think that Kerry came off a little better than he has of late, sound resolute for once. Bush seemed much more defensive and unsure than usual. Kerry's line about being "certain, but still wrong" was certainly strong and I'm glad he hammered away at Bush on handling the war the wrong way and ignoring North Korea. He fumbled somewhat with Osama, mistakenly placing him in Afghanistan when current wisdom is that Osama is in Pakistan.
Kerry needs to shed the flip-flop image more and place that blame squarely on Dubya's shoulders, who has waffled more than IHOP, but has not yet been stuck with that label because he repeats the same dumb four sentences.
Kerry also needs to hammer him on the constant lying and misleading Bush and Co did about why we need to go to war, including George's implicaiton tonight that Sadaam attacked us: "We didn't start this; they attacked us...we went to war." Kerry caught him on this, but more needs to be made on this.
The big stumper to me was Bush citing the Patriot Act as necessary to protect us, yet minutes later stating how adamantly he opposes Putin restricting civil liberties to fight terrorism. The American people need to wake up and realize that the Patriot Act has done the exact same thing! Bush is now not just a liar or an incompetent; he's a hypocrite.
And the Bushism of the night - "the enemy is fighting us so vociferously." What, are they yelling at us? Playing Motley Crue at loud volumes? Making loud bombs? You've heard of dirty bombs, now fear the noisy bomb.
Kerry needs to shed the flip-flop image more and place that blame squarely on Dubya's shoulders, who has waffled more than IHOP, but has not yet been stuck with that label because he repeats the same dumb four sentences.
Kerry also needs to hammer him on the constant lying and misleading Bush and Co did about why we need to go to war, including George's implicaiton tonight that Sadaam attacked us: "We didn't start this; they attacked us...we went to war." Kerry caught him on this, but more needs to be made on this.
The big stumper to me was Bush citing the Patriot Act as necessary to protect us, yet minutes later stating how adamantly he opposes Putin restricting civil liberties to fight terrorism. The American people need to wake up and realize that the Patriot Act has done the exact same thing! Bush is now not just a liar or an incompetent; he's a hypocrite.
And the Bushism of the night - "the enemy is fighting us so vociferously." What, are they yelling at us? Playing Motley Crue at loud volumes? Making loud bombs? You've heard of dirty bombs, now fear the noisy bomb.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
God Must Be Fond of Donkeys, 'Cause He Has Plenty of Asses in His Congregations
Tuesday, NBC's The Today Show ran a clip, one in a series on political issues facing the candidates and country, on the issue of gay marriage. The video highlighted two gay men living in Arizona raising a son. The son, in his early teens, was the product of one of the men's previous marriage. He had been raised most of his life by the gay couple and expressed his love for his same-sex parents and their family life. The video also highlighted an Arizona Baptist minister who, surprise, surprise, opposes gay marriage. One of his main points was that if you allow gays to marry, you're gonna have to let people marry donkeys.
True, the donkey marriage lobby is a strong one, but I think it will be a few years before it rises to national prominence. When the party line of the religious right gets drawn out - the "what's next? cats and dogs living together? mass hysteria?" - why does nobody challenge this ridiculous piece of logic. The slippery slope is one of the most famous logical fallacies, made popular with the Vietnam war - if we didn't regain Vietnam, all of Asia would fall to Communism. Yet, nobody points out that we can allow anything we want to and cut it off at any point. Not to mention that I'm reasonably sure there is not much demand for donkey marriages. Obviously some asses get hitched from time to time, but that's a completely different story.
In related news, famed fallen fornicating evangelist (and cousin to the well-known Jerry Lee Lewis, the R Kelly of his time), Jimmy Swaggart managed to stop blubbering for a few minutes to proclaim that "...I'm going to be blunt and plain: If one ever looks at me like that, I'm going to kill him and tell God he died." Swaggart's congregation of about twelve approved his message with laughter and applause. (Swaggart, who used to run a mega-ministry prior to his prostitute scandal, now has to use curtains to hide the rows upon rows of empty pews in his church during television broadcasts.)
He has, to his credit, has apologized since: "It's a humorous statement that doesn't mean anything. You can't lie to God -- it's ridiculous...If it's an insult, I certainly didn't think it was, but if they are offended, then I certainly offer an apology."
Wow, what a great joke. Maybe he can make a similar joke about the President and then get thrown in jail where we wouldn't have to hear his simpering any longer(those of you unfamiliar with Jimmy need to know he usually spends a good portion of each message pouring on the water works. Hailing from Louisiana, he makes good use of alligator tears).
God caused Balaam's donkey to speak, saving them both from the waiting angel of death. God made an ass speak. Nowadays, seems like no divine intervention is needed.
True, the donkey marriage lobby is a strong one, but I think it will be a few years before it rises to national prominence. When the party line of the religious right gets drawn out - the "what's next? cats and dogs living together? mass hysteria?" - why does nobody challenge this ridiculous piece of logic. The slippery slope is one of the most famous logical fallacies, made popular with the Vietnam war - if we didn't regain Vietnam, all of Asia would fall to Communism. Yet, nobody points out that we can allow anything we want to and cut it off at any point. Not to mention that I'm reasonably sure there is not much demand for donkey marriages. Obviously some asses get hitched from time to time, but that's a completely different story.
In related news, famed fallen fornicating evangelist (and cousin to the well-known Jerry Lee Lewis, the R Kelly of his time), Jimmy Swaggart managed to stop blubbering for a few minutes to proclaim that "...I'm going to be blunt and plain: If one ever looks at me like that, I'm going to kill him and tell God he died." Swaggart's congregation of about twelve approved his message with laughter and applause. (Swaggart, who used to run a mega-ministry prior to his prostitute scandal, now has to use curtains to hide the rows upon rows of empty pews in his church during television broadcasts.)
He has, to his credit, has apologized since: "It's a humorous statement that doesn't mean anything. You can't lie to God -- it's ridiculous...If it's an insult, I certainly didn't think it was, but if they are offended, then I certainly offer an apology."
Wow, what a great joke. Maybe he can make a similar joke about the President and then get thrown in jail where we wouldn't have to hear his simpering any longer(those of you unfamiliar with Jimmy need to know he usually spends a good portion of each message pouring on the water works. Hailing from Louisiana, he makes good use of alligator tears).
God caused Balaam's donkey to speak, saving them both from the waiting angel of death. God made an ass speak. Nowadays, seems like no divine intervention is needed.
A Keyes Moment
Far be it from me to miss hopping on a bandwagon. Much speculation is circulating the internet currently that Alan Keye's daughter is a very out lesbian. Chillinois , a blog, has presented some very strong evidence that this is true information, although the final word is still out.
Many of you may recall Mr. Keyes's recent comments that "The essence of ... family life remains procreation. If we embrace homosexuality as a proper basis for marriage, we are saying that it's possible to have a marriage state that in principal excludes procreation and is based simply on the premise of selfish hedonism." Asked whether that meant Mary Cheney "'is a selfish hedonist," Keyes said: "That goes by definition. Of course she is."
Keyes stands to go on my list of politicians who have gay children, yet are virulently anti-gay in their voting, policy-making, or stances. This, to me, is even less understanderstandable than closeted gay politicians who are anti-gay in their civil service. The internalized homophobia manifesting itself as anti-gay legislation is not completely surprising; working against the civil and social interests of your child(ren) is. More on that particular train of thought in a future blog.
I'll let you know what the final count brings. Hopefully there will be no hanging chads (and with lesbians you wouldn't expect a hung chad now would you?).
Many of you may recall Mr. Keyes's recent comments that "The essence of ... family life remains procreation. If we embrace homosexuality as a proper basis for marriage, we are saying that it's possible to have a marriage state that in principal excludes procreation and is based simply on the premise of selfish hedonism." Asked whether that meant Mary Cheney "'is a selfish hedonist," Keyes said: "That goes by definition. Of course she is."
Keyes stands to go on my list of politicians who have gay children, yet are virulently anti-gay in their voting, policy-making, or stances. This, to me, is even less understanderstandable than closeted gay politicians who are anti-gay in their civil service. The internalized homophobia manifesting itself as anti-gay legislation is not completely surprising; working against the civil and social interests of your child(ren) is. More on that particular train of thought in a future blog.
I'll let you know what the final count brings. Hopefully there will be no hanging chads (and with lesbians you wouldn't expect a hung chad now would you?).
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
You Realize, Of Course, This Means War
Hold on to your seats, people, it's going to be a bumpy ride.
Following the push by the HRC to contact my representative regarding the impending vote in the House on the FMA, I emailed (and wrote) a letter to my representative, who happens to be co-sponsoring the bill. I asked Representative Robin Hayes to not vote for the FMA. Below is his reply. In a future blog, I'll post my reply, but I'll give any of my faithful readers (both of you) the chance to make suggestions for content in that letter. Any takers?
Dear Michael,
Thank you for contacting my office regarding the Federal Marriage Amendment. I appreciate hearing your comments on such an important issue.There is no institution in this land more sacred than marriage and family. Marriage, between a man and a woman, has been the foundation of civilization for thousands of years all around the world. Protections for this vital institution are built into our culture and the laws of our country because of the centrality of the family unit. In 1888, the U.S. Supreme Court, in Murphy v. Ramsey, described marriage as "creating the most important relation in life, as having more to do with morals and civilization of a people than any other institution." I am proud to be a co-sponsor of H.J. Res 56, which was introduced by Representative Marilyn Musgrave (CO-04). This legislation declares that marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. I am sorry we do not agree on this issue; however, I hope that our differing views will not prevent us from working together in the future on this and many other issues.It is an honor to serve as your United States Representative, and I look forward to tackling the issues 8th District voters sent me here to address. (Editor's note: Yes, why should denying my civil rights be an impediment to working together cooperatively?) Please know that I have assembled what I believe is the most responsive and courteous staff in Congress. Your suggestions are always welcome, and if ever we may be of assistance, please do not hesitate to call.
Sincerely,Robin Hayes
Member of Congress
Part Two coming soon...
Following the push by the HRC to contact my representative regarding the impending vote in the House on the FMA, I emailed (and wrote) a letter to my representative, who happens to be co-sponsoring the bill. I asked Representative Robin Hayes to not vote for the FMA. Below is his reply. In a future blog, I'll post my reply, but I'll give any of my faithful readers (both of you) the chance to make suggestions for content in that letter. Any takers?
Dear Michael,
Thank you for contacting my office regarding the Federal Marriage Amendment. I appreciate hearing your comments on such an important issue.There is no institution in this land more sacred than marriage and family. Marriage, between a man and a woman, has been the foundation of civilization for thousands of years all around the world. Protections for this vital institution are built into our culture and the laws of our country because of the centrality of the family unit. In 1888, the U.S. Supreme Court, in Murphy v. Ramsey, described marriage as "creating the most important relation in life, as having more to do with morals and civilization of a people than any other institution." I am proud to be a co-sponsor of H.J. Res 56, which was introduced by Representative Marilyn Musgrave (CO-04). This legislation declares that marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. I am sorry we do not agree on this issue; however, I hope that our differing views will not prevent us from working together in the future on this and many other issues.It is an honor to serve as your United States Representative, and I look forward to tackling the issues 8th District voters sent me here to address. (Editor's note: Yes, why should denying my civil rights be an impediment to working together cooperatively?) Please know that I have assembled what I believe is the most responsive and courteous staff in Congress. Your suggestions are always welcome, and if ever we may be of assistance, please do not hesitate to call.
Sincerely,Robin Hayes
Member of Congress
Part Two coming soon...
Saturday, September 18, 2004
The Suburban Queer
Seems like the McGreevey rant made me have to catch my breath. Also, work life and the "married" life have proven very rewarding, yet time-consuming. I'm also trying to reestablish my exercise routine and Peter and I still strive finish the small nit-picky things around the house.
Charlotte, the largest city in North Carolina, is home to a small, but largely undercover queer population. Asheville, NC, home to the fantastic and historic Oak Grove lodge, and about two hours away, is reportedly one the nation's most gay-friendly cities and I've heard good things about the environment at UNC Greensboro, about an hour away. Charlotte, is by and large, a pretty quiet city and is comprised, like Atlanta, of many close suburbs and towns with very definite personalities. And although a queer presence is obvious to the trained or even semi-trained eye, it seems many of the city's denizens are still thrown for a loop or strongly curious to see two out men together and being/acting like a couple.
Peter and I generally refrain from many overt romantic or affectionate gestures in public, although certainly they do happen. But we act like a couple - at the grocery store we discuss what we want for dinner over the course of the week or argue over which flavor of ice cream to buy (usually ending up with both) - at a restaurant we might share some food or kid about who is going to pay -at home, I think we appear more than just roommates, often sharing a ride, or taking out the garbage together, and such. I hope that in all of these and other situations, it is obvious that we are together. But this togetherness does bring some stares.
People carefully trying to look like they're not looking fail pitifully as the follow us around or crane their neck as we go the other way down an aisle. These are looks I used to get going to places with black female friends. That "are they what I think they are" kind of look (no to the black woman, yes to the man on my arm). Granted we live in a smaller, quieter suburb, but we're not the only queers around here either. And other gay couples can be sighted time to time. Now, while this angered Pat the angry Lowe's Hardware lesbian, I'm rather quite happy with it.
I hope people can see us and say "oh look those fags aren't trying to molest children, entice upright Christian men, or sell us skin care products, maybe we were wrong about denying them civil rights."
Pat, as I'm sure you're wondering, is a woman we met on a home-improvement outing. I kid about lesbian rage, but she was full of it. The woman was incensed about being lied to about the availability of pineapple for her Hawaiian pizza. They told her they had the pineapple in stock, but, no, she saw that they actually had to run out and get the pineapple from a store. They were out and they lied about it. Also, she asserted, they singled her out by putting their bruschetta on a paper plate, while breeder received fine plasticware. I mean, serving an appetizer on a paper plate is a major faux pas, but it's hardly anything to carry a grudge about. You just don't invite those people over for your fabulous dinner parties. Also, Pat(named change to protect the incensed) was mad she couldn't get any privacy. People dared to recognize her and her "friend's" car that she would drive occasionally.
The saying goes that "familiarity breeds contempt." I hope that, in this case, familiarity will breed tolerance, maybe even acceptance. There's much political fodder in trying to show straight people that we are just like they are - that's not always a good thing. But straight people do need to realize that we aren't corrupters of innocent children and the American Way either. Plus, we throw fabulous dinner parties.
Charlotte, the largest city in North Carolina, is home to a small, but largely undercover queer population. Asheville, NC, home to the fantastic and historic Oak Grove lodge, and about two hours away, is reportedly one the nation's most gay-friendly cities and I've heard good things about the environment at UNC Greensboro, about an hour away. Charlotte, is by and large, a pretty quiet city and is comprised, like Atlanta, of many close suburbs and towns with very definite personalities. And although a queer presence is obvious to the trained or even semi-trained eye, it seems many of the city's denizens are still thrown for a loop or strongly curious to see two out men together and being/acting like a couple.
Peter and I generally refrain from many overt romantic or affectionate gestures in public, although certainly they do happen. But we act like a couple - at the grocery store we discuss what we want for dinner over the course of the week or argue over which flavor of ice cream to buy (usually ending up with both) - at a restaurant we might share some food or kid about who is going to pay -at home, I think we appear more than just roommates, often sharing a ride, or taking out the garbage together, and such. I hope that in all of these and other situations, it is obvious that we are together. But this togetherness does bring some stares.
People carefully trying to look like they're not looking fail pitifully as the follow us around or crane their neck as we go the other way down an aisle. These are looks I used to get going to places with black female friends. That "are they what I think they are" kind of look (no to the black woman, yes to the man on my arm). Granted we live in a smaller, quieter suburb, but we're not the only queers around here either. And other gay couples can be sighted time to time. Now, while this angered Pat the angry Lowe's Hardware lesbian, I'm rather quite happy with it.
I hope people can see us and say "oh look those fags aren't trying to molest children, entice upright Christian men, or sell us skin care products, maybe we were wrong about denying them civil rights."
Pat, as I'm sure you're wondering, is a woman we met on a home-improvement outing. I kid about lesbian rage, but she was full of it. The woman was incensed about being lied to about the availability of pineapple for her Hawaiian pizza. They told her they had the pineapple in stock, but, no, she saw that they actually had to run out and get the pineapple from a store. They were out and they lied about it. Also, she asserted, they singled her out by putting their bruschetta on a paper plate, while breeder received fine plasticware. I mean, serving an appetizer on a paper plate is a major faux pas, but it's hardly anything to carry a grudge about. You just don't invite those people over for your fabulous dinner parties. Also, Pat(named change to protect the incensed) was mad she couldn't get any privacy. People dared to recognize her and her "friend's" car that she would drive occasionally.
The saying goes that "familiarity breeds contempt." I hope that, in this case, familiarity will breed tolerance, maybe even acceptance. There's much political fodder in trying to show straight people that we are just like they are - that's not always a good thing. But straight people do need to realize that we aren't corrupters of innocent children and the American Way either. Plus, we throw fabulous dinner parties.
Cheney of Fools
RESPECT - find out what it means to me. I need to be shown some respect. Respect from both the Cheneys and news outlets.
Although it has been some time past now, I'm still vexted about the news media failure to encapsulate the facts of a situation and resorting to misleading and sensationalized headlines. The particular situation that I'm referring to is Dick Cheney stating that he believed that states should have the right to decide who gets married, but, hey, the President, who is a really nice guy and all, has a slightly different idea. And, after all, he is The Boss, so we gotta do what he says.
Every headline I saw about this event, which occurred just slightly before the National Republican Convention, blared that Cheney opposed the Federal Marriage Amendment. Didn't matter where the article was written, regardless of the author's sexual orientation or publishing house affiliation, "Cheney opposes FMA" was the headline de jour.
Well, actually, no.
Cheney never said he opposed the FMA. Not once. At best his statement suggests that he might, just might, oppose it. He said he believed that states should have the right to decide about marriage. But he never said he was going to fight for that right. He never said he thought the FMA was a bad idea. In the end, all he said was he was going to support the president. The president who is waging a war against gays and lesbians, including Cheney's own daughter, Mary, and her partner (neither of whom made it to the platform with the rest of the Cheney family during the RNC).
And so goes the whole chain-chain-Cheney of Fools. There is plenty to be said about how Cheney's ties to Haliburton is routinely ignored by America at large and news watchhounds. However, old Tricky Dick (where have we heard that before?) has made people believe that he opposes the FMA. That, hey, maybe that Presidential ticket isn't so right-sided after all. Sure, the President might be a nutjob after queers, but his running mate compassionately believes differently. He's not doing anything about it, but he's sincere. Not only Dick fool the media into publishing the headline he wanted, he conveniently had the opportunity to do it right before the convention. He's never voiced this particular opinion prior, but somebody just happened to ask him this question so he could speak from his heart right before national television coverage of him and the nu..I mean President. How fortunate for Mr. Cheney.
Down the chain we go with Mary. I've stood up for old Mare before. I have felt like she was unmercifully hounded by websites such as Dear Mary, and I greatly respect her right to not have to speak out. Still, it's impossible to discern the cause of her absence with the rest of the Cheney family on the RNC on the platform (as she was with the family while in the audience the night prior). Was this a silent protest? Was she asked not to appear for fear of offending the delicate sensibilities of the religious right? Was she just in the bathroom, unable to stomach all the crap her dad and the rest of the Republican leaders throw out? I've finally come to the point that I feel Mary needs to make a stand. Since her dad is now on the record as opposing the FMA, then she doesn't have to worry about saying anything he disagrees with or sounding non-supportive of him. Give the gay community a little respect, Mary.
I have been suckered briefly in the chain myself. I was wowed by Lynne Cheney speaking against the FMA openly back in July. Even though her words were not dissimilar from the Veep's current reiteration of his stance, she did talk more in-depth about not needing federal intervention. Also, she seemed more like a maverick at the time, with Dick silent on the issue since 2000. However, Lynne has a controversial past as perhaps the most right-wing ideologue of the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) during the Reagan-Bush presidencies (a positon she now re-occupies). She vigorously opposed feminist thought and teaching or any teaching that presented a view of the world she disagreed with. According to Salon.com, "During her chairmanship of the agency from 1986 through 1992, Cheney was known for killing research projects deemed offensive to conservative orthodoxy, scribbling "not for me!" on proposals dealing with race, gender discrimination or the legacy of slavery. She considered the endowment so irredeemably left-wing that she campaigned to abolish it." No "Spanish Harlem" for Lynne, apparently. So much for my unequivocal praise.
And the chain of fools grows: the fools who think that Bush actually stands for family values, that he cares about anybody not in the top 2% of the American income stratus, the fools who think that the Cheneys show the moderate and compassionate voice of the Dubya ticket. The Cheneys try to come off as a Do-Right Woman and a Do-Right Man. Rather, I wonder who's zoomin who.
Think, America, think.
Although it has been some time past now, I'm still vexted about the news media failure to encapsulate the facts of a situation and resorting to misleading and sensationalized headlines. The particular situation that I'm referring to is Dick Cheney stating that he believed that states should have the right to decide who gets married, but, hey, the President, who is a really nice guy and all, has a slightly different idea. And, after all, he is The Boss, so we gotta do what he says.
Every headline I saw about this event, which occurred just slightly before the National Republican Convention, blared that Cheney opposed the Federal Marriage Amendment. Didn't matter where the article was written, regardless of the author's sexual orientation or publishing house affiliation, "Cheney opposes FMA" was the headline de jour.
Well, actually, no.
Cheney never said he opposed the FMA. Not once. At best his statement suggests that he might, just might, oppose it. He said he believed that states should have the right to decide about marriage. But he never said he was going to fight for that right. He never said he thought the FMA was a bad idea. In the end, all he said was he was going to support the president. The president who is waging a war against gays and lesbians, including Cheney's own daughter, Mary, and her partner (neither of whom made it to the platform with the rest of the Cheney family during the RNC).
And so goes the whole chain-chain-Cheney of Fools. There is plenty to be said about how Cheney's ties to Haliburton is routinely ignored by America at large and news watchhounds. However, old Tricky Dick (where have we heard that before?) has made people believe that he opposes the FMA. That, hey, maybe that Presidential ticket isn't so right-sided after all. Sure, the President might be a nutjob after queers, but his running mate compassionately believes differently. He's not doing anything about it, but he's sincere. Not only Dick fool the media into publishing the headline he wanted, he conveniently had the opportunity to do it right before the convention. He's never voiced this particular opinion prior, but somebody just happened to ask him this question so he could speak from his heart right before national television coverage of him and the nu..I mean President. How fortunate for Mr. Cheney.
Down the chain we go with Mary. I've stood up for old Mare before. I have felt like she was unmercifully hounded by websites such as Dear Mary, and I greatly respect her right to not have to speak out. Still, it's impossible to discern the cause of her absence with the rest of the Cheney family on the RNC on the platform (as she was with the family while in the audience the night prior). Was this a silent protest? Was she asked not to appear for fear of offending the delicate sensibilities of the religious right? Was she just in the bathroom, unable to stomach all the crap her dad and the rest of the Republican leaders throw out? I've finally come to the point that I feel Mary needs to make a stand. Since her dad is now on the record as opposing the FMA, then she doesn't have to worry about saying anything he disagrees with or sounding non-supportive of him. Give the gay community a little respect, Mary.
I have been suckered briefly in the chain myself. I was wowed by Lynne Cheney speaking against the FMA openly back in July. Even though her words were not dissimilar from the Veep's current reiteration of his stance, she did talk more in-depth about not needing federal intervention. Also, she seemed more like a maverick at the time, with Dick silent on the issue since 2000. However, Lynne has a controversial past as perhaps the most right-wing ideologue of the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) during the Reagan-Bush presidencies (a positon she now re-occupies). She vigorously opposed feminist thought and teaching or any teaching that presented a view of the world she disagreed with. According to Salon.com, "During her chairmanship of the agency from 1986 through 1992, Cheney was known for killing research projects deemed offensive to conservative orthodoxy, scribbling "not for me!" on proposals dealing with race, gender discrimination or the legacy of slavery. She considered the endowment so irredeemably left-wing that she campaigned to abolish it." No "Spanish Harlem" for Lynne, apparently. So much for my unequivocal praise.
And the chain of fools grows: the fools who think that Bush actually stands for family values, that he cares about anybody not in the top 2% of the American income stratus, the fools who think that the Cheneys show the moderate and compassionate voice of the Dubya ticket. The Cheneys try to come off as a Do-Right Woman and a Do-Right Man. Rather, I wonder who's zoomin who.
Think, America, think.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Getting Real on Getting Down
Being on the DL, or the "Down Low," has gained much notoriety lately, largely due to the writings of several authors, the most recent of which is J.L. King. Mr. King's book On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of "Straight" Black Men who Sleep with Men has drawn much attention and Mr. King was featured on Oprah. E. Lynn Harris has written about this situation for some time, in mostly ficitional accounts, but has not drawn the attention that Mr. King's book has lately.
For those needing a primer, here's a link to a brief news clip about men On the Down Low .
I think a lot of unnecessary panic has risen over this topic. On the Oprah show, audience members were scared of Mr. King looking at their husbands in a seductive manner once he described how he could tell a man was interested. Still, I find the whole phenomenon of DL to be both complex and tragic.
Straight black women are one of the highest at-risk group for AIDS in America because of men pretending to be straight but having unprotected, high-risk sex with other men. As much as infedility outrages me, endangering another person's life, especially your spouse who trusts you implicitedly, for your own selfish reasons is unexcusable. This is a betrayal of the person who had commited the crime of loving you and the reward is death.
Certainly not all HIV positive people develop AIDS, and AIDS is much more controlled now, but still AIDS is physically and financially debilitating and certainly significantly reduces a person's life expectancy. Yet, the blame for this society is rooted firmly in societal expectations of not just black men, but concepts of masculinity.
I have played this harp before, but society expects black men to be tough. Popular media depictions almost always portrays the black man as womanizer and physically strong. More often than not, it is the image of the thug. Images of successful black men still carry an implication of hyper-masculinity portrayed through the accumulation of wealth and women. And both black and white culture buy into these images and perpetuate them.
The black man who is not macho is seen as victim. And any trace of feminity makes him pariah. And such, failing to acknowledge the feminine aspects of receiving in sex leads to unprotected sex. Not wanting to stop about the intimacy and sensualness of male to male sexual contact leads to risk for oneself and others.
In this I cannot fail to mention the strong influence that religion has in the black community. Conservative religious views dominate, at least in Southern black communities, leading to a supression of anything not in line with highly orthodox views. The church is such a locus of social interaction and status that to be removed from the church circles would mean almost total alienation and isolation for an individual. So, once again conservative religion, trying to save the world by policing behavior has helped lead to the destruction of its own children.
I believe the only way to help solve this problem is to change the images and expectations of black men. Conservative religious leaders, not just in the black community, but around the world, need to reevaluate how they implement their religion. And we need to help people understand homosexuality better and, also gender role stereotyping. We need, as a culture, to finally stop equating femininity with negativity. These may be pipe dreams, unattainable goals. Still, the only way to stop men from getting on the down low is to get real with ourselves and the world around us.
For those needing a primer, here's a link to a brief news clip about men On the Down Low .
I think a lot of unnecessary panic has risen over this topic. On the Oprah show, audience members were scared of Mr. King looking at their husbands in a seductive manner once he described how he could tell a man was interested. Still, I find the whole phenomenon of DL to be both complex and tragic.
Straight black women are one of the highest at-risk group for AIDS in America because of men pretending to be straight but having unprotected, high-risk sex with other men. As much as infedility outrages me, endangering another person's life, especially your spouse who trusts you implicitedly, for your own selfish reasons is unexcusable. This is a betrayal of the person who had commited the crime of loving you and the reward is death.
Certainly not all HIV positive people develop AIDS, and AIDS is much more controlled now, but still AIDS is physically and financially debilitating and certainly significantly reduces a person's life expectancy. Yet, the blame for this society is rooted firmly in societal expectations of not just black men, but concepts of masculinity.
I have played this harp before, but society expects black men to be tough. Popular media depictions almost always portrays the black man as womanizer and physically strong. More often than not, it is the image of the thug. Images of successful black men still carry an implication of hyper-masculinity portrayed through the accumulation of wealth and women. And both black and white culture buy into these images and perpetuate them.
The black man who is not macho is seen as victim. And any trace of feminity makes him pariah. And such, failing to acknowledge the feminine aspects of receiving in sex leads to unprotected sex. Not wanting to stop about the intimacy and sensualness of male to male sexual contact leads to risk for oneself and others.
In this I cannot fail to mention the strong influence that religion has in the black community. Conservative religious views dominate, at least in Southern black communities, leading to a supression of anything not in line with highly orthodox views. The church is such a locus of social interaction and status that to be removed from the church circles would mean almost total alienation and isolation for an individual. So, once again conservative religion, trying to save the world by policing behavior has helped lead to the destruction of its own children.
I believe the only way to help solve this problem is to change the images and expectations of black men. Conservative religious leaders, not just in the black community, but around the world, need to reevaluate how they implement their religion. And we need to help people understand homosexuality better and, also gender role stereotyping. We need, as a culture, to finally stop equating femininity with negativity. These may be pipe dreams, unattainable goals. Still, the only way to stop men from getting on the down low is to get real with ourselves and the world around us.
A Do Ron Ron
From The Advocate, August 31, 2004 (full article here):
I’ve been married for 23 years. Pretty good for a gay guy,” laughs Ron Reagan over iced tea recently in Los Angeles.
Gay buzz has surrounded the reed-thin son of former president Ronald Reagan since he dropped out of Yale University in his freshman year in 1976 to dance with New York City’s Joffrey Ballet. It follows him still, even though he and his longtime wife, clinical psychologist Doria Reagan, appear to be happily married, ensconced in Seattle with their three cats.
Being typed as gay “has never bothered me,” says Reagan, 46, a political commentator for MSNBC and dog show host for Animal Planet. He was in town doing interviews for the Television Critics Association meeting. “I’ve always thought of it like someone thinking I’m Chinese or something. It’s not pejorative, as far as I can see. It’s simply incorrect.”
Over the years, Reagan says he’s been attacked by the gay press “for not coming out. I guess it’s because I’m a man and ballet dancer. If I had been a truck driver, nobody would have brought that up.” Also, being portrayed as a closeted gay man “can be used as a weapon against my father, even posthumously.”
You can't help but like this guy for his views. That and that he hates the current administration.
I’ve been married for 23 years. Pretty good for a gay guy,” laughs Ron Reagan over iced tea recently in Los Angeles.
Gay buzz has surrounded the reed-thin son of former president Ronald Reagan since he dropped out of Yale University in his freshman year in 1976 to dance with New York City’s Joffrey Ballet. It follows him still, even though he and his longtime wife, clinical psychologist Doria Reagan, appear to be happily married, ensconced in Seattle with their three cats.
Being typed as gay “has never bothered me,” says Reagan, 46, a political commentator for MSNBC and dog show host for Animal Planet. He was in town doing interviews for the Television Critics Association meeting. “I’ve always thought of it like someone thinking I’m Chinese or something. It’s not pejorative, as far as I can see. It’s simply incorrect.”
Over the years, Reagan says he’s been attacked by the gay press “for not coming out. I guess it’s because I’m a man and ballet dancer. If I had been a truck driver, nobody would have brought that up.” Also, being portrayed as a closeted gay man “can be used as a weapon against my father, even posthumously.”
You can't help but like this guy for his views. That and that he hates the current administration.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
My Favorite Quote on the RNC
"When I wanted to see a second rate Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, I wait for it to come on basic cable." --my friend, Sharon Manson
Sunday, August 29, 2004
The Truth is that I am a Pissed-Off American
There is nothing about the McGreevey situation that fails to induce a string of epithets so vile as to embarrass the most blue comedian spewing from my between my clenched teeth like so much spittle threatening to drown anybody in front of me. In short, everything about the New Jersey soon-to-be-ex-governor's circumstances induces contempt and loathing in me.
The entire fracas is "chicken or the egg" in regards to wrong and right. Our societal norms and values are still sufficiently misalinged to the point that many gays and lesbians feel the need to hide their sexuality or worse pretend they are straight. American law offers no protection to gays and lesbians in the workplace; being queer is sufficient cause to fire someone. And while many Americans probably wouldn't vote out an open gay man or lesbian, being out certainly adds an extra struggle to getting elected in the first place. Relgion, of course, plays a huge role in this. While debate rages in our churches over the place of the homosexual, most religious leaders condmen and ostracize us.
I still find it hard to understand the public fear against homosexuals and the stigmitization that accompanies this fear. I struggle with how people can justify the way they treat sons, daughter, brothers, sisters, moms, dads, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. when they find out they are gay. So the American stage is set and ready for such a opera.
Still, the actors are not absolved from their roles. Simply and crassly stated, McGreevy let his dick rule his brain. Whether he put a lover in a position he was unqualified for or sexually harassed his unqualified appointment, he chose to allow his gonads to overrise common sense, professionalism, and respect and love for his wife and family.
And, returning to societal norms and values, what a condemnation of our culture and judicial system that Cipel could, for all intents and purposes, blackmail McGreevy, ostensively for being gay. This also speaks to McGreevy's apparent lack of ability to judge character. Talk about a bad trick.
Again, however, McGreevy put himself in the situation, through one method or the other. And this perhaps is what angers me the most; the complete and total abdication of personal responsibility until the moment he was metaphorically caught with his pants down. Where was the responsibility to his citizens, his state, and even more importantly his wife. I have much sympathy for men who feel the need to get married because of family or societal pressure. Simultaneously, I have zero tolerance for these or any other men who then cheat on their wives. If you need a beard, then your beard deserves to know prior to the marriage. I have actually heard that some women willing enter into a marriage with a closeted man, knowing that he will find sex with other men (and presumably they will not have sex as husband or wife). If that's what you need, go find it. If you don't know that's what you need, then you need to either honor your vows or make other arrangements with your wife.
Finally, a few "fuck you"'s are in order. Fuck you, McGreevy for your proclamation that"At a point in every person's life, one has to look deeply into themirror of one's soul and decide one's unique truth in the world. My truth is that I am a gay American." You say it as if you are out and proud; as if you have been soul searching and come upon some great truth. You were about to have your entire personal life ripped apart; otherwise, you never would have come out. You would have continued to be an adulterer and presumably making appointments according to how hard the guy made you.
McGreevy earns a "fuck you" for proclaiming gay marriage, while under the cover of the closet, as having a "detrimental impact" on his state. To his credit, McGreevy signed into law a domestic partnership act for the state, one of five such statewide laws in the country. This is still no excuse for speaking out some vehemently against gay marriage.
And lastly, I award McGreevey an honorary "fuck you" for the general timing of his scandal and exploits, giving homophobes an example to point to when arguing against gay civil rights and marriage as well as justifying gay stereotypes of being promiscuous and sex-crazed.
Societal norms, as explained above, also earns a de facto "fuck you." Cipel, for being a low-life blackmailer merits a "fuck you." (If Cipel's claim had merit, he would have persued legitimate routes of complaint.)
The HRC comes close to earning a big FU for promoting the fact they helped McGreevey in his press announcement. I have no problem that they advised him, since their advice seemed to be sound; namely that McGreevy should point out that intrinsically being gay has nothing to do with his resignation. However, I question their motive for announcing their tenuous association with him. Other than letting other closeted politicians know that they can help when they are outed and scandal ensues, what is the profit?
Lastly, fuck the press for latching on to this as a GAY affair. It's not sufficient to simply announce that the governor of New Jersey was having an affair that is resulting in his resignation. Every headline I saw in print or television blared that this was a GAY affair; providing certainly a more salacious bent to the whole thing. Hey, politicians have affairs all the time, but how much more tantalizing and tawdry is it because it's with another man? Thus proving that we still have a long way to go before society as a whole sees us as something other than perverts, sex-fiends, and/or abnormal.
The entire fracas is "chicken or the egg" in regards to wrong and right. Our societal norms and values are still sufficiently misalinged to the point that many gays and lesbians feel the need to hide their sexuality or worse pretend they are straight. American law offers no protection to gays and lesbians in the workplace; being queer is sufficient cause to fire someone. And while many Americans probably wouldn't vote out an open gay man or lesbian, being out certainly adds an extra struggle to getting elected in the first place. Relgion, of course, plays a huge role in this. While debate rages in our churches over the place of the homosexual, most religious leaders condmen and ostracize us.
I still find it hard to understand the public fear against homosexuals and the stigmitization that accompanies this fear. I struggle with how people can justify the way they treat sons, daughter, brothers, sisters, moms, dads, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. when they find out they are gay. So the American stage is set and ready for such a opera.
Still, the actors are not absolved from their roles. Simply and crassly stated, McGreevy let his dick rule his brain. Whether he put a lover in a position he was unqualified for or sexually harassed his unqualified appointment, he chose to allow his gonads to overrise common sense, professionalism, and respect and love for his wife and family.
And, returning to societal norms and values, what a condemnation of our culture and judicial system that Cipel could, for all intents and purposes, blackmail McGreevy, ostensively for being gay. This also speaks to McGreevy's apparent lack of ability to judge character. Talk about a bad trick.
Again, however, McGreevy put himself in the situation, through one method or the other. And this perhaps is what angers me the most; the complete and total abdication of personal responsibility until the moment he was metaphorically caught with his pants down. Where was the responsibility to his citizens, his state, and even more importantly his wife. I have much sympathy for men who feel the need to get married because of family or societal pressure. Simultaneously, I have zero tolerance for these or any other men who then cheat on their wives. If you need a beard, then your beard deserves to know prior to the marriage. I have actually heard that some women willing enter into a marriage with a closeted man, knowing that he will find sex with other men (and presumably they will not have sex as husband or wife). If that's what you need, go find it. If you don't know that's what you need, then you need to either honor your vows or make other arrangements with your wife.
Finally, a few "fuck you"'s are in order. Fuck you, McGreevy for your proclamation that"At a point in every person's life, one has to look deeply into themirror of one's soul and decide one's unique truth in the world. My truth is that I am a gay American." You say it as if you are out and proud; as if you have been soul searching and come upon some great truth. You were about to have your entire personal life ripped apart; otherwise, you never would have come out. You would have continued to be an adulterer and presumably making appointments according to how hard the guy made you.
McGreevy earns a "fuck you" for proclaiming gay marriage, while under the cover of the closet, as having a "detrimental impact" on his state. To his credit, McGreevy signed into law a domestic partnership act for the state, one of five such statewide laws in the country. This is still no excuse for speaking out some vehemently against gay marriage.
And lastly, I award McGreevey an honorary "fuck you" for the general timing of his scandal and exploits, giving homophobes an example to point to when arguing against gay civil rights and marriage as well as justifying gay stereotypes of being promiscuous and sex-crazed.
Societal norms, as explained above, also earns a de facto "fuck you." Cipel, for being a low-life blackmailer merits a "fuck you." (If Cipel's claim had merit, he would have persued legitimate routes of complaint.)
The HRC comes close to earning a big FU for promoting the fact they helped McGreevey in his press announcement. I have no problem that they advised him, since their advice seemed to be sound; namely that McGreevy should point out that intrinsically being gay has nothing to do with his resignation. However, I question their motive for announcing their tenuous association with him. Other than letting other closeted politicians know that they can help when they are outed and scandal ensues, what is the profit?
Lastly, fuck the press for latching on to this as a GAY affair. It's not sufficient to simply announce that the governor of New Jersey was having an affair that is resulting in his resignation. Every headline I saw in print or television blared that this was a GAY affair; providing certainly a more salacious bent to the whole thing. Hey, politicians have affairs all the time, but how much more tantalizing and tawdry is it because it's with another man? Thus proving that we still have a long way to go before society as a whole sees us as something other than perverts, sex-fiends, and/or abnormal.
August is the cruelest month
Well, this blog seems mostly dedicated lately to making up excuses as to why I haven't been posting, but most of my normal routine has been on hold since mid-July. As any regular reader knows, I've been consolidating two households with my husband, Peter. (Thanks for the kind words, Keith.) But also, I work for university housing and the past month has also been getting ready for the start of the school year. This includes helping train staff and students. This means fun, but working retreats - time away from the house, Peter, and other work functions. This means I am experiencing the first weekend without some type of work obligation since mid-July. I love my job, but this is hurricane season. So all of this is not just physical energy, but mental and emotional energy drains as well.
Routine, however, is beginning to set in and that is very welcome. The house tends to go through phases of lookng great to be junked up again as more stuff is unpacked or purchased to organize all this stuff the both of us have accumulated. It can all be terrific fun, but it is also a lot of effort.
As things settle down even more, I will be back to posting more regularly. Lots of news recently means I have lots of opinions stored up just waiting to be vented. The advent of the RNC is also sure to inspire plenty of blog material.
Another happy note is that my father is again gainfully employed!
Routine, however, is beginning to set in and that is very welcome. The house tends to go through phases of lookng great to be junked up again as more stuff is unpacked or purchased to organize all this stuff the both of us have accumulated. It can all be terrific fun, but it is also a lot of effort.
As things settle down even more, I will be back to posting more regularly. Lots of news recently means I have lots of opinions stored up just waiting to be vented. The advent of the RNC is also sure to inspire plenty of blog material.
Another happy note is that my father is again gainfully employed!
Saturday, August 28, 2004
The Sound of Silence
From Catholic World News
Swedish minister jailed for "anti-gay" speech
Stockholm, Sweden, Jul. 06 (LifesiteNews.com/CWN) - The Rev. Ake Green, the pastor of a Swedish Pentecostal church in Kalmar, Sweden, has been sentenced to one month in prison for inciting hatred against homosexuals. Green was prosecuted in January for "hate speech against homosexuals" for a sermon he preached last summer citing Biblical references to homosexuality.
Sweden has a "hate crimes" law that forbids criticism of homosexuality. According to the church newspaper Kyrkans Tidning , the prosecutor in the case, Kjell Yngvesson, justifies the arrest of Green: "One may have whatever religion one wishes, but this is an attack on all fronts against homosexuals. Collecting Bible citations on this topic as he (Green) does makes this hate speech."
Ok, this is going too far. You can't call all anti-gay rhetoric "hate speech." I know America would never pass a law this crazy (forbiding any type of criticism of an idea - although Bush has come close about criticism of his presidency in the Patriot Acts), but it gets to a problem that we experience here also. We can't shut off all negative speech.
Do I want to make it socially frowned upon to be negative towards gays, just as now it is to degrade blacks? Yes. But I want that change to come about because people think we're ok, that we are a welcome part of society. Enacting laws or going after everyone who makes a stupid remark is not the way to accomplish this.
I'm glad for media watchdogs like GLAAD, and they and others have done some truly good work, but I don't always agree with the relentless hounding they do, such as with Dr. Laura. Yes, she is an idiot; yes she said stupid, ignorant, hateful things, but is it necessary to financially ruin her because she's a bigot? Are we using tactics that the religious right would use on us?
Do we have to become the people who want to silence us and put us down? Is it necessary to meet equal parts force with equal parts force? I would suggest that this leads only not just to a cold war, but a cold world for all to live.
Swedish minister jailed for "anti-gay" speech
Stockholm, Sweden, Jul. 06 (LifesiteNews.com/CWN) - The Rev. Ake Green, the pastor of a Swedish Pentecostal church in Kalmar, Sweden, has been sentenced to one month in prison for inciting hatred against homosexuals. Green was prosecuted in January for "hate speech against homosexuals" for a sermon he preached last summer citing Biblical references to homosexuality.
Sweden has a "hate crimes" law that forbids criticism of homosexuality. According to the church newspaper Kyrkans Tidning , the prosecutor in the case, Kjell Yngvesson, justifies the arrest of Green: "One may have whatever religion one wishes, but this is an attack on all fronts against homosexuals. Collecting Bible citations on this topic as he (Green) does makes this hate speech."
Ok, this is going too far. You can't call all anti-gay rhetoric "hate speech." I know America would never pass a law this crazy (forbiding any type of criticism of an idea - although Bush has come close about criticism of his presidency in the Patriot Acts), but it gets to a problem that we experience here also. We can't shut off all negative speech.
Do I want to make it socially frowned upon to be negative towards gays, just as now it is to degrade blacks? Yes. But I want that change to come about because people think we're ok, that we are a welcome part of society. Enacting laws or going after everyone who makes a stupid remark is not the way to accomplish this.
I'm glad for media watchdogs like GLAAD, and they and others have done some truly good work, but I don't always agree with the relentless hounding they do, such as with Dr. Laura. Yes, she is an idiot; yes she said stupid, ignorant, hateful things, but is it necessary to financially ruin her because she's a bigot? Are we using tactics that the religious right would use on us?
Do we have to become the people who want to silence us and put us down? Is it necessary to meet equal parts force with equal parts force? I would suggest that this leads only not just to a cold war, but a cold world for all to live.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
A Tale of Two Cities
Well, the craziness of consolidating two households into one is subsiding somewhat. We still have a ton of stuff to do, but Peter has been wonderful about helping get things organized and set up. This time of year is one of the busiest for me at work and he's been a wonderful support of helping me stay sane during this whole time.
Internet access at the house has just recently been achieved, although I haven't had much time to post anything in any case. I was about to post something the other day during a lunch break, but became distracted and now I've lost the material that I was contemplating.
It's a fun and exciting time for Peter and me. We're finally starting our life together after five years of knowing each other and dating off and on with the last two years a fully committed relationship. We seem to both be in a good place in all sense of the phrase, and I hope that continues to be true.
The parentals are doing a bit better, but things are not as good as they could be. I hope things look better for them soon.
I cannot even begin to thank the wonderful people who took a great deal of time, effort, and energy to help us accomplish the move of two apartments in two different cities in two days: Turi, Carla, Anne, Leslie, Casey, Allan, Valencia, and last, but certainly not least, my little sis. These people went beyond being simple labor for us (and they all worked their butts off), but emotional support as well. Thanks to each and every one of you from the both of us!
Internet access at the house has just recently been achieved, although I haven't had much time to post anything in any case. I was about to post something the other day during a lunch break, but became distracted and now I've lost the material that I was contemplating.
It's a fun and exciting time for Peter and me. We're finally starting our life together after five years of knowing each other and dating off and on with the last two years a fully committed relationship. We seem to both be in a good place in all sense of the phrase, and I hope that continues to be true.
The parentals are doing a bit better, but things are not as good as they could be. I hope things look better for them soon.
I cannot even begin to thank the wonderful people who took a great deal of time, effort, and energy to help us accomplish the move of two apartments in two different cities in two days: Turi, Carla, Anne, Leslie, Casey, Allan, Valencia, and last, but certainly not least, my little sis. These people went beyond being simple labor for us (and they all worked their butts off), but emotional support as well. Thanks to each and every one of you from the both of us!
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
I'll Be Back
Apparently some gays are mad at Califohniah Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger for his recent comment calling some Democratic politicians "girlie men." I say we shouldn't be mad at him for making any type of allegedly "homophobic" remark, we should be mad at him for using an ancient and annoyingly over-repeated pop-culture reference best left in the grave with Dana Carvey's career.
Oh, and no blog entries for at least a week; I've got to move this weekend and then I'm off on a business trip. Be good while I'm gone.
Oh, and no blog entries for at least a week; I've got to move this weekend and then I'm off on a business trip. Be good while I'm gone.
Saturday, July 24, 2004
For It Is A Shame For Women To Speak
According to 365gay.com, Mike White, the head of the Oregon Family Council, said that he hoped that Lynne Cheney "doesn't address the gay marriage issue " at the Oregon state Republican convention and that he was "troubled" that she refused to endorse the Federal Marriage Amendment.
Furthermore, Mr. White, who clearly suffers from severe cranial-rectal inversion, further stated that "[s]he is here to rally support for the president, and common sense would saythat she will only make remarks on issues she and the president agree on." Fortunately, the Oregon GOP Chairman Kevin Mannix was tactful enough to just comment that the convention is"just delighted that she's coming. She's an excellent speaker."
I suppose that Mr. White would also favor Mrs. Cheney's, and probably all his female's constituents' silence in any religious matters, given Paul's command that "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. / And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." (I Corinthians 14:33-34). After all, what do women know about anything other than cooking and homekeeping?
A mother bear is not begrudged for protecting her cub, but Mrs. Cheney apparently should sit passively by and say nothing while legislation that would negatively impact her daughter tries to pass. Mr. White's suggestion that Mrs. Cheney should ignore a threat to her child is an interesting family value. Why can't Lynne follow Laura Bush's example of having no personality and letting her man make all the decisions?
Common sense seems to dictate, in this case, that Mr. White should only make remarks on issues that don't expose him as a hypocrite and dolt. Or to quote a non-Biblical piece of advice, "Best to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."
Furthermore, Mr. White, who clearly suffers from severe cranial-rectal inversion, further stated that "[s]he is here to rally support for the president, and common sense would saythat she will only make remarks on issues she and the president agree on." Fortunately, the Oregon GOP Chairman Kevin Mannix was tactful enough to just comment that the convention is"just delighted that she's coming. She's an excellent speaker."
I suppose that Mr. White would also favor Mrs. Cheney's, and probably all his female's constituents' silence in any religious matters, given Paul's command that "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. / And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church." (I Corinthians 14:33-34). After all, what do women know about anything other than cooking and homekeeping?
A mother bear is not begrudged for protecting her cub, but Mrs. Cheney apparently should sit passively by and say nothing while legislation that would negatively impact her daughter tries to pass. Mr. White's suggestion that Mrs. Cheney should ignore a threat to her child is an interesting family value. Why can't Lynne follow Laura Bush's example of having no personality and letting her man make all the decisions?
Common sense seems to dictate, in this case, that Mr. White should only make remarks on issues that don't expose him as a hypocrite and dolt. Or to quote a non-Biblical piece of advice, "Best to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
God, Love, and Fags
From the gay spiritual magazine, White Crane, an exerpt from an article by Timothy Leary on same-sex love:
So, if God did not approve of homosexuality, God would not allow homosexuals to actually love one another. Homosexual people would only be able to experience the physical sensations of sex, but not know the rich life-giving experience of shared ecstasy. We would not know that sensation of being lost in ecstasy with another human being. The idea that same-sex love creates ecstasy and direct experiences of the Divine is frightening to people who want (or need) these cultural myths about heterosexual-only romantic love to be true. They do not want to face the idea that God may not care who makes love with whom. From their perspective it's OK if what queer people experience is furtive and hollow, but they dare not assume that we can actually experience real ecstasy. That would mean that God approves of our love because God is involved in it. Perhaps that is why the idea of same-sex marriage is so threatening. It shakes many ideas of love and sex to the core.
As long as same-sex couples can be seen as people who do not, or cannot, love in the same way as heterosexual people, we can be discriminated against. If our experiences of love are incomplete we do not need to be treated as fully human. If our relationships were accepted as loving and life affirming, the entire tenor of the debate over same-sex marriage, and queer civil rights in general, would have to change. If the layer of sentimentalism about heterosexual-only romantic love were lifted, it would blow the "God Hates Fags" arguments right out of the water.
The idea that heterosexual-only romantic love comes from God is a key factor in the mind-set of the religious right and those who oppose our right to live our lives freely and openly. This idea makes it possible to objectify us, demonize us and discount our loving relationships. Our love is thought to be of less value because it is thought to be for only furtive pleasure. Opponents of queer rights and same-sex marriage ignore us when we say that our relationships are life-affirming because it is important for them to believe that the Divine is not involved in our relationships. They are wrong about this.
So, if God did not approve of homosexuality, God would not allow homosexuals to actually love one another. Homosexual people would only be able to experience the physical sensations of sex, but not know the rich life-giving experience of shared ecstasy. We would not know that sensation of being lost in ecstasy with another human being. The idea that same-sex love creates ecstasy and direct experiences of the Divine is frightening to people who want (or need) these cultural myths about heterosexual-only romantic love to be true. They do not want to face the idea that God may not care who makes love with whom. From their perspective it's OK if what queer people experience is furtive and hollow, but they dare not assume that we can actually experience real ecstasy. That would mean that God approves of our love because God is involved in it. Perhaps that is why the idea of same-sex marriage is so threatening. It shakes many ideas of love and sex to the core.
As long as same-sex couples can be seen as people who do not, or cannot, love in the same way as heterosexual people, we can be discriminated against. If our experiences of love are incomplete we do not need to be treated as fully human. If our relationships were accepted as loving and life affirming, the entire tenor of the debate over same-sex marriage, and queer civil rights in general, would have to change. If the layer of sentimentalism about heterosexual-only romantic love were lifted, it would blow the "God Hates Fags" arguments right out of the water.
The idea that heterosexual-only romantic love comes from God is a key factor in the mind-set of the religious right and those who oppose our right to live our lives freely and openly. This idea makes it possible to objectify us, demonize us and discount our loving relationships. Our love is thought to be of less value because it is thought to be for only furtive pleasure. Opponents of queer rights and same-sex marriage ignore us when we say that our relationships are life-affirming because it is important for them to believe that the Divine is not involved in our relationships. They are wrong about this.
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