I'm simply stunned at the devastation caused by Katrina. I have friends and close family in some of the hardest hit areas. Although I know my family is safe, I don't know if their property survived. I have no word on my friends.
When something like this happens, it's always tragic, but when you know people involved, it makes it that much more personal. I'm moved by many of the stories I have heard the past few days - stories that are simply amazing. I hope against hope that things turn out fine for my friends who live in Gulfport. Although I feel confident they are alive, I worry about their house. I worry for my grandparents' house near New Orleans.
I find myself thinking strange thoughts, such as I wish the hurricane weren't named after a friend of mine, although it fits in some ways. The Katrina I know is a large woman, not fat, but more of a linebacker build. I can laugh that for such a large storm, the name is appropriate, but my friend is one of the most gentle people I know and this destruction doesn't warrant her name applied to it.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Is it a good time to be gay?
I often wonder if this is a good time to be gay. It seems like we have the most tolerance and acceptance than ever before, including more recognition of our rights from companies and states, yet the attention and outpouring of hatred towards gays and lesbians must be at an all time high.
Sometimes I wonder if it was easier when it was something nobody talked about. People may or may not have known, but it was left unsaid. People weren't out campaigning to not just prevent you from having the same rights as they enjoy, but to make your life a crime. Worse, people weren't using you as an excuse to gain power and influence, raise money, or advance their own political agenda. Certainly it happened to a certain extent, but not on the national scale it has now, when our civil rights are threatened and I've more than once thought seriously about moving abroad. Not to be histrionic, but there have been days when I genuinely felt as if one more step to the right could land gays in concentration camps.
I have no doubt this will pass eventually and one day, Americans will look back on this time and think about how primitive we were as a society. So, yes, in many ways, I believe that today is better or will at least lead to better times. It's just a tad uncomfortable living under heat of the spotlight.
Sometimes I wonder if it was easier when it was something nobody talked about. People may or may not have known, but it was left unsaid. People weren't out campaigning to not just prevent you from having the same rights as they enjoy, but to make your life a crime. Worse, people weren't using you as an excuse to gain power and influence, raise money, or advance their own political agenda. Certainly it happened to a certain extent, but not on the national scale it has now, when our civil rights are threatened and I've more than once thought seriously about moving abroad. Not to be histrionic, but there have been days when I genuinely felt as if one more step to the right could land gays in concentration camps.
I have no doubt this will pass eventually and one day, Americans will look back on this time and think about how primitive we were as a society. So, yes, in many ways, I believe that today is better or will at least lead to better times. It's just a tad uncomfortable living under heat of the spotlight.
Quote Unquote
I was quite pleased with myself for coming up with "never piss off a drag queen" while facilitating a Safe Zone presentation on Monday. I was describing the Stonewall riot; at the end of the workshop my co-facilitator announced an annual campus drag show participants could attend and I reminded the group that, if they went, to "not piss off the drag queens."
Here's some more interesting and original quotes, courtesy of Rex Wockner. I love Matt Foreman's statement:
There has been zero negative effect. The only people who have beenaffected by the decision to allow same-sex marriages [in Massachusetts]are a few people who lived across the street from a couple of lesbiansand had to buy them wedding presents. That is clear to people inMassachusetts. No one -- credibly -- argues now that this has had anegative effect on anybody. We knew that would be the case."--Gay U.S. Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., to the Seattle Gay News, July 29.
"We have sanitized and intellectualized our cause to the point ofabstraction. Our argument is always about -- you know, you get a betterdental plan if you're married. Stuff like that. But marriage is just acode word. The fight is really: Are we equal humans in society or not?The right wing goes for the gut and we respond in this completelysterile way, talking about academic issues like the 1,038 rights thatare denied us. It's kind of like John Kerry in the presidential race."--National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Matt Foreman tothe Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Aug. 13.
Here's some more interesting and original quotes, courtesy of Rex Wockner. I love Matt Foreman's statement:
There has been zero negative effect. The only people who have beenaffected by the decision to allow same-sex marriages [in Massachusetts]are a few people who lived across the street from a couple of lesbiansand had to buy them wedding presents. That is clear to people inMassachusetts. No one -- credibly -- argues now that this has had anegative effect on anybody. We knew that would be the case."--Gay U.S. Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., to the Seattle Gay News, July 29.
"We have sanitized and intellectualized our cause to the point ofabstraction. Our argument is always about -- you know, you get a betterdental plan if you're married. Stuff like that. But marriage is just acode word. The fight is really: Are we equal humans in society or not?The right wing goes for the gut and we respond in this completelysterile way, talking about academic issues like the 1,038 rights thatare denied us. It's kind of like John Kerry in the presidential race."--National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Matt Foreman tothe Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Aug. 13.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
King for a Day
While reviewing some speeches for a class I teach on leadership, I was re-reading Dr. Martin Luther King's famous "I have a dream" speech. One segment, not usually heard during re-broadcasts of the speech, caught my attention. It spoke to me about my position on gay marriage. The question about whether to accept civil unions as a stepping stone to full marriage rights has been hotly debated among gays and lesbians. Although I used to go back and forth on this issue, during the past few years I have stood firmly in the belief that we should settle for nothing less than full equality. Dr. King's speech has solidly galvanized that belief.
With a few simple substitutions, it's easy to relate Dr. King's passion to gay America's current situation:
We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
Unfortunately, we have not done enough revolting. Gays and lesbians have not been sufficiently malcontent. We have failed to grasp the "fierce urgency of Now." We are far too complacent. We are content to be the modern Sambo, the helper to the straight man and woman: the servant, the maid, the footstool, whose only value is in helping straight people to get a leg up on us and others.
We are also too divided. Our national organizations are not sufficiently united and some have lost their way. We, as a community, fail to come together and agree on what is important. We fail to realize that while I may not want something, it can still be good for others. And, if I support a cause that doesn't directly impact me, my brothers and sisters should do the same for me. We also face a silent enemy; we must deal with traitors in our midst. Men and women, particularly those in power, who refuse to deal with their sexuality for whatever reason are a threat. This doesn't exclude the closet politicians who pass anti-gay legislation; every man and woman who fails to be honest and open about their sexuality (and I realize some for safety reasons cannot, but the vast majority of our people certainly do not have to fear this) damages our cause.
In ending, I'll now take a page from the flip side of Dr. King and quote from a less striden passage from Malcolm X's "ballot or bullet" speech. I've substituted "queer" for "black" and "straight" for "white":
Billy Graham comes in preaching the gospel of Christ. He evangelizes the gospel. He stirs everybody up, but he never tries to start a church. If he came in trying to start a church, all the churches would be against him. So, he just comes in talking about Christ and tells everybody who gets Christ to go to any church where Christ is; and in this way the church cooperates with him. So we're going to take a page from his book.
Our gospel is queer nationalism. We're not trying to threaten the existence of any organization, but we're spreading the gospel of queer nationalism. Anywhere there's a church that is also preaching and practicing the gospel of quuer nationalism, join that church. ... Join any organization that has a gospel that's for the uplift of the quuer man. And when you get into it and see them pussyfooting or compromising, pull out of it because that's not queer nationalism. We'll find another one.
And in this manner, the organizations will increase in number and in quantity and in quality, and by August, it is then our intention to have a queer nationalist convention which will consist of delegates from all over the country who are interested in the political, economic and social philosophy of queer nationalism. After these delegates convene, we will hold a seminar; we will hold discussions; we will listen to everyone. We want to hear new ideas and new solutions and new answers. And at that time, if we see fit then to form a queer nationalist party, we'll form a queer nationalist party.
Now in speaking like this, it doesn't mean that we're anti-straight, but it does mean we're anti-exploitation, we're anti-degradation, we're anti-oppression. And if the straight man doesn't want us to be anti-him, let him stop oppressing and exploiting and degrading us. Whether we are Christians or Muslims or nationalists or agnostics or atheists, we must first learn to forget our differences. If we have differences, let us differ in the closet; when we come out in front, let us not have anything to argue about until we get finished arguing with the man. If the late President Kennedy could get together with Khrushchev and exchange some wheat, we certainly have more in common with each other than Kennedy and Khrushchev had with each other.
The text for these speeches was found on American Rhetoric.com. You can read the full text of these speeches as well as listen to them at that website.
With a few simple substitutions, it's easy to relate Dr. King's passion to gay America's current situation:
We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. And those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. And there will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
Unfortunately, we have not done enough revolting. Gays and lesbians have not been sufficiently malcontent. We have failed to grasp the "fierce urgency of Now." We are far too complacent. We are content to be the modern Sambo, the helper to the straight man and woman: the servant, the maid, the footstool, whose only value is in helping straight people to get a leg up on us and others.
We are also too divided. Our national organizations are not sufficiently united and some have lost their way. We, as a community, fail to come together and agree on what is important. We fail to realize that while I may not want something, it can still be good for others. And, if I support a cause that doesn't directly impact me, my brothers and sisters should do the same for me. We also face a silent enemy; we must deal with traitors in our midst. Men and women, particularly those in power, who refuse to deal with their sexuality for whatever reason are a threat. This doesn't exclude the closet politicians who pass anti-gay legislation; every man and woman who fails to be honest and open about their sexuality (and I realize some for safety reasons cannot, but the vast majority of our people certainly do not have to fear this) damages our cause.
In ending, I'll now take a page from the flip side of Dr. King and quote from a less striden passage from Malcolm X's "ballot or bullet" speech. I've substituted "queer" for "black" and "straight" for "white":
Billy Graham comes in preaching the gospel of Christ. He evangelizes the gospel. He stirs everybody up, but he never tries to start a church. If he came in trying to start a church, all the churches would be against him. So, he just comes in talking about Christ and tells everybody who gets Christ to go to any church where Christ is; and in this way the church cooperates with him. So we're going to take a page from his book.
Our gospel is queer nationalism. We're not trying to threaten the existence of any organization, but we're spreading the gospel of queer nationalism. Anywhere there's a church that is also preaching and practicing the gospel of quuer nationalism, join that church. ... Join any organization that has a gospel that's for the uplift of the quuer man. And when you get into it and see them pussyfooting or compromising, pull out of it because that's not queer nationalism. We'll find another one.
And in this manner, the organizations will increase in number and in quantity and in quality, and by August, it is then our intention to have a queer nationalist convention which will consist of delegates from all over the country who are interested in the political, economic and social philosophy of queer nationalism. After these delegates convene, we will hold a seminar; we will hold discussions; we will listen to everyone. We want to hear new ideas and new solutions and new answers. And at that time, if we see fit then to form a queer nationalist party, we'll form a queer nationalist party.
Now in speaking like this, it doesn't mean that we're anti-straight, but it does mean we're anti-exploitation, we're anti-degradation, we're anti-oppression. And if the straight man doesn't want us to be anti-him, let him stop oppressing and exploiting and degrading us. Whether we are Christians or Muslims or nationalists or agnostics or atheists, we must first learn to forget our differences. If we have differences, let us differ in the closet; when we come out in front, let us not have anything to argue about until we get finished arguing with the man. If the late President Kennedy could get together with Khrushchev and exchange some wheat, we certainly have more in common with each other than Kennedy and Khrushchev had with each other.
The text for these speeches was found on American Rhetoric.com. You can read the full text of these speeches as well as listen to them at that website.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Weird Science
How cool is this? I participated in the MIT blog survey!
What to be part of an important (well, I'm just assuming here) academic survey?
Sure you do! Click the tag below.
What to be part of an important (well, I'm just assuming here) academic survey?
Sure you do! Click the tag below.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Common Cents: Victories Abroad and Small Steps at Home
Well, something to celebrate as both Spain and Canada legalize same-sex marriage (and Spain legalized gay adoption also - so go adopt all those gay babies).
The United Church of Christ is on the verge of passing a resolution this week in Atlanta that will support of same-sex marriage, making it the first mainstream religion to do so. You may remember them from this fantastic commercial proclaiming their acceptance of diverse congregational members. It was so controversial CBS and NBC refused to air because of it's radical message.
Less celebratory, but just as interesting is that Bush appointed openly gay Israel Hernandez, (better known to Bushies as "Altoid Boy" for his supplying of Dubya with mints) as Assistant Secretary of Commerce.
The United Church of Christ is on the verge of passing a resolution this week in Atlanta that will support of same-sex marriage, making it the first mainstream religion to do so. You may remember them from this fantastic commercial proclaiming their acceptance of diverse congregational members. It was so controversial CBS and NBC refused to air because of it's radical message.
Less celebratory, but just as interesting is that Bush appointed openly gay Israel Hernandez, (better known to Bushies as "Altoid Boy" for his supplying of Dubya with mints) as Assistant Secretary of Commerce.
Living La Vida Queero
Here I am back again on the bitch train apparently. But yet another item has struck a nerve.
I was listening to our local NPR call-in radio talk show when a nervous caller offered to the program host that there are people who have found Jesus and left the "gay lifestyle." The caller seemed nervous and not quite fully convinced of his own assertion, but the host was gentle and asked if he left the "lifestyle" because he was unhappy because of external pressure. No, the caller replied, the pressure and unhappiness was all internal. He just prayed about it and got religion and left it behind him.
One, I hate the term "gay lifestyle." That doesn't even mean anything. Are you referring to sex with men, or more specifically my husband? That's a fraction of my life that is no different from anybody else with a spouse. And prior to having a husband? Don't tell me straight people don't have sex with non-spouses.
Drugs? Ibuprofen here and there. Booze? I drink every third blue moon. Clubbing? Sorry, don't have any baby seals around here.
Perhaps you refer to my tastefully decorated house? You're certainly not suggesting it's about my fairly conservative Old Navy polos and Dockers khaki pants. Although you might mean choice of snazzy Bass buckle loafers.
I'm not sure what kind of lifestyle I have. I guess it's quasi-yuppish for the most part. Other than that, I have no idea.
The only people who feel the need to leave "the gay lifestyle" are those who have bought into all the messages that something is wrong with them. These are the people who, if they were politicians, would be hiding in the closet while trying to kill gay civil rights legislation. They hate themselves.
Or, they've allowed themselves to think that their choice to drink heavily, consume illegal drugs, or have risky and/or promiscuous sex is because they are gay. Everybody else blames all the bad stuff on being gay, why not hang your alcoholism or lack of personal responsibility on that hook too? Face it, if you were straight, you'd still be doing the same things, only you've convinced yourself that your problem isn't that you are a slut, but that you are gay.
I would feel bad for these people, but I'm tired of them telling me and others that their personal problem is a truism about me and my, I'm not afraid to brag, very well put together life.
I was listening to our local NPR call-in radio talk show when a nervous caller offered to the program host that there are people who have found Jesus and left the "gay lifestyle." The caller seemed nervous and not quite fully convinced of his own assertion, but the host was gentle and asked if he left the "lifestyle" because he was unhappy because of external pressure. No, the caller replied, the pressure and unhappiness was all internal. He just prayed about it and got religion and left it behind him.
One, I hate the term "gay lifestyle." That doesn't even mean anything. Are you referring to sex with men, or more specifically my husband? That's a fraction of my life that is no different from anybody else with a spouse. And prior to having a husband? Don't tell me straight people don't have sex with non-spouses.
Drugs? Ibuprofen here and there. Booze? I drink every third blue moon. Clubbing? Sorry, don't have any baby seals around here.
Perhaps you refer to my tastefully decorated house? You're certainly not suggesting it's about my fairly conservative Old Navy polos and Dockers khaki pants. Although you might mean choice of snazzy Bass buckle loafers.
I'm not sure what kind of lifestyle I have. I guess it's quasi-yuppish for the most part. Other than that, I have no idea.
The only people who feel the need to leave "the gay lifestyle" are those who have bought into all the messages that something is wrong with them. These are the people who, if they were politicians, would be hiding in the closet while trying to kill gay civil rights legislation. They hate themselves.
Or, they've allowed themselves to think that their choice to drink heavily, consume illegal drugs, or have risky and/or promiscuous sex is because they are gay. Everybody else blames all the bad stuff on being gay, why not hang your alcoholism or lack of personal responsibility on that hook too? Face it, if you were straight, you'd still be doing the same things, only you've convinced yourself that your problem isn't that you are a slut, but that you are gay.
I would feel bad for these people, but I'm tired of them telling me and others that their personal problem is a truism about me and my, I'm not afraid to brag, very well put together life.
Monday, June 13, 2005
A Wake Up Call for the Gay Community
Hiltons to be grand marshals of L.A. Pride parade
Associated Press Friday, June 10, 2005 / 06:33 PM
WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. -- Paris Hilton and her mother, Kathy, will be
grand marshals for the annual Gay Pride parade, one of the city's biggest celebrations.
They will greet tens of thousands of people expected Sunday at the Los
Angeles Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Transgender Pride Parade.
Paris Hilton, the 24-year-old star of television's "The Simple Life" reality show, provoked controversy recently by appearing scantily clad in a Carl's Jr. burger commercial.
The hotel heiress is engaged to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis, a grandson of John Latsis, the last of Greece's shipping billionaires from the postwar boom years, who died in 2003 at 93.
This news clip exemplifies perfectly to me a problem in the modern gay community. We are, and have been for a while, failing to be the activists we need to be in order to secure not just legal rights, but societal respect and acceptance.
Pride parades have become another meaningless entertainment venue, devoid of any purpose other than to get nekkid, scare the straights, and get tweaked. Instead of putting some person of value and significance, we put up a sleazy whore who has no redeeming social value, not to mention not even any celebrity of worth or entertainment value.
She is a non-person, a non-entity, a non-celebrity. To quote a recent book on teen girls, the only reason Hilton has been put up on a pedestal is so men can look up her skirt. Why gay men (or any self-respecting lesbian) would look up to her other than to reinforce the pervasive stereotype that we are also sleazy whores is beyond me.
And so once again we buy into our own internalized homophobia. We celebrate not that which makes us special or valuable, but our most base aspect, the societal spectre that follows us and seeks to destroy us as a people not worth respect or dignity or legal rights.
We fail to make a statement other than an addiction to the sexual and the shallow. We fail to be activists and retreat into the safety and denial of a stereotype that emphasizes sex and shallowness. And it must be right; we embrace those values in the choice of Paris Hilton.
We have grown accustomed to being denied rights so long as they don't shut down the bathouses. We have accepted being seen as living demons and spreaders of perversion and disease so long as they don't call us queer and fag. We have allowed ourselves to be the gay Steppin Fetchit.
Associated Press Friday, June 10, 2005 / 06:33 PM
WEST HOLLYWOOD, Calif. -- Paris Hilton and her mother, Kathy, will be
grand marshals for the annual Gay Pride parade, one of the city's biggest celebrations.
They will greet tens of thousands of people expected Sunday at the Los
Angeles Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Transgender Pride Parade.
Paris Hilton, the 24-year-old star of television's "The Simple Life" reality show, provoked controversy recently by appearing scantily clad in a Carl's Jr. burger commercial.
The hotel heiress is engaged to Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis, a grandson of John Latsis, the last of Greece's shipping billionaires from the postwar boom years, who died in 2003 at 93.
This news clip exemplifies perfectly to me a problem in the modern gay community. We are, and have been for a while, failing to be the activists we need to be in order to secure not just legal rights, but societal respect and acceptance.
Pride parades have become another meaningless entertainment venue, devoid of any purpose other than to get nekkid, scare the straights, and get tweaked. Instead of putting some person of value and significance, we put up a sleazy whore who has no redeeming social value, not to mention not even any celebrity of worth or entertainment value.
She is a non-person, a non-entity, a non-celebrity. To quote a recent book on teen girls, the only reason Hilton has been put up on a pedestal is so men can look up her skirt. Why gay men (or any self-respecting lesbian) would look up to her other than to reinforce the pervasive stereotype that we are also sleazy whores is beyond me.
And so once again we buy into our own internalized homophobia. We celebrate not that which makes us special or valuable, but our most base aspect, the societal spectre that follows us and seeks to destroy us as a people not worth respect or dignity or legal rights.
We fail to make a statement other than an addiction to the sexual and the shallow. We fail to be activists and retreat into the safety and denial of a stereotype that emphasizes sex and shallowness. And it must be right; we embrace those values in the choice of Paris Hilton.
We have grown accustomed to being denied rights so long as they don't shut down the bathouses. We have accepted being seen as living demons and spreaders of perversion and disease so long as they don't call us queer and fag. We have allowed ourselves to be the gay Steppin Fetchit.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Crash Coarse
Everyone's a little bit racist, or so the Avenue Q song goes. That's certainly the main conceit of the recent movie Crash, which puts a not-so-fine of a point on that idea.
Crash, much like its name, is anything but subtle. It paints in broad, course strokes, only occasionally using a more understated approach. Not only is everyone racist, but almost everyone is a raving bigot and aren't afraid to express their bigotry. A gun shop owner has no problem insulting the Persian man purchasing a weapon from him and then denying him the purchase. A black police detective doesn't hesitate to demean his Latina partner and lover. A black wife and husband freely hurl invective at each other about how black the other actually is. And everybody is down on the Hispanic locksmith.
Which is not to suggest that the movie is entirely inaccurate. Modern racism tends to be more subtle and insidious than the coarse verbalization found in the movie, but the thoughts and perspectives expressed are certainly valid representations of the way many people think or feel. Although reflected in real life, the movie does take easy shortcuts in dealing with bigotry. The affluent city DA is politically correct in the worst sense; he cares more about surface perception that actually dealing with true racial problems. His wife recoils from any non-white, mortified of any minority after they car-jacked. Racism is also a bit too neat: Americans hate Muslims, black and white people hate each other; black and Asian people hate each other; LA police are corrupt, white and black, etc.
Even with these shortcuts, the film is not devoid of complexity. Just as virtually everybody is racist, so is no one person made completely evil. Even the most compromised characters possess some degree of virtuousness. Characters have to learn to compromise and deal with each other despite their problems and differences. Although perhaps overly simple, paradoxically a complex web of connectivity is created among the principle characters.
Yet it is this simplistic six degrees of separation that is the point to be taken away here. The title of the movie does not apply to car crashes, indeed there are only three crashes: one at the beginning, one slightly over half-way through the movie, and one at the end (and interestingly enough the end crash is the only crash we actually see happen). The movie opens with a line by Don Cheadle who speculates that people crash their cars into each other to have contact with other people that is missing in every day life. Indeed, Crash refers to the way we have the potential to crash into each other culturally. Instead of choosing to reach out in equality and with an open-mind, we choose to be hurtful and oblivious to the people around us. As much of the cultural destruction that happens is purposeful, an equal amount is the failure to see beyond our own cultural filters and lenses.
Ultimately we witness the destruction that our self-imposed isolation (both physical and cultural) brings about in both the lives of others and in our society. Although this point is brought home with a hammer, Crash does seek to raise the audience's awareness of the personal and larger consequences of failing to understand and interact with our fellow human beings. Crash could have been more interesting by playing with the more internalized and subtle aspects of racism. Some of the sub-plot and character development outcomes could have shown more meaningful results (will Sandra Bullock's spoiled rich white woman's revelation truly lead to her making her housekeeper's life better?)
Crash does offer a highly intense and thought-provoking experience that does captivate the audience. And, interestingly, at least in the theater where I saw it, drew perhaps the most diverse crowd I have ever seen at any movie. Crash has the potential to bring about meaningful dialogue and could open doors not normally open for multicultural understanding.
Crash, much like its name, is anything but subtle. It paints in broad, course strokes, only occasionally using a more understated approach. Not only is everyone racist, but almost everyone is a raving bigot and aren't afraid to express their bigotry. A gun shop owner has no problem insulting the Persian man purchasing a weapon from him and then denying him the purchase. A black police detective doesn't hesitate to demean his Latina partner and lover. A black wife and husband freely hurl invective at each other about how black the other actually is. And everybody is down on the Hispanic locksmith.
Which is not to suggest that the movie is entirely inaccurate. Modern racism tends to be more subtle and insidious than the coarse verbalization found in the movie, but the thoughts and perspectives expressed are certainly valid representations of the way many people think or feel. Although reflected in real life, the movie does take easy shortcuts in dealing with bigotry. The affluent city DA is politically correct in the worst sense; he cares more about surface perception that actually dealing with true racial problems. His wife recoils from any non-white, mortified of any minority after they car-jacked. Racism is also a bit too neat: Americans hate Muslims, black and white people hate each other; black and Asian people hate each other; LA police are corrupt, white and black, etc.
Even with these shortcuts, the film is not devoid of complexity. Just as virtually everybody is racist, so is no one person made completely evil. Even the most compromised characters possess some degree of virtuousness. Characters have to learn to compromise and deal with each other despite their problems and differences. Although perhaps overly simple, paradoxically a complex web of connectivity is created among the principle characters.
Yet it is this simplistic six degrees of separation that is the point to be taken away here. The title of the movie does not apply to car crashes, indeed there are only three crashes: one at the beginning, one slightly over half-way through the movie, and one at the end (and interestingly enough the end crash is the only crash we actually see happen). The movie opens with a line by Don Cheadle who speculates that people crash their cars into each other to have contact with other people that is missing in every day life. Indeed, Crash refers to the way we have the potential to crash into each other culturally. Instead of choosing to reach out in equality and with an open-mind, we choose to be hurtful and oblivious to the people around us. As much of the cultural destruction that happens is purposeful, an equal amount is the failure to see beyond our own cultural filters and lenses.
Ultimately we witness the destruction that our self-imposed isolation (both physical and cultural) brings about in both the lives of others and in our society. Although this point is brought home with a hammer, Crash does seek to raise the audience's awareness of the personal and larger consequences of failing to understand and interact with our fellow human beings. Crash could have been more interesting by playing with the more internalized and subtle aspects of racism. Some of the sub-plot and character development outcomes could have shown more meaningful results (will Sandra Bullock's spoiled rich white woman's revelation truly lead to her making her housekeeper's life better?)
Crash does offer a highly intense and thought-provoking experience that does captivate the audience. And, interestingly, at least in the theater where I saw it, drew perhaps the most diverse crowd I have ever seen at any movie. Crash has the potential to bring about meaningful dialogue and could open doors not normally open for multicultural understanding.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Mr. Postman
Post Secret is a blog that, in the name of an art project, encourages people to send in a secret, anonymously, on a post card. Most of the secrets have a graphic representation of the secret. Some seem too incredible to be true, yet surely the perverse imagination of these people is telling and insightful nonetheless.
Interestingly, more secrets than not it seems deal with deception as opposed to sheer covertness. The sender has lied rather than merely failed to disclose or kept hidden information or an aspect of their life. Many represent some sense of failure in life, a sense of incompleteness, a lack of achievement or worth of being: a reminder that ultimately most people just want love and acceptance.
Not surprisingly, a few deal with gay or gay-related themes, both amusingly ("I had gay sex at church camp. Three times") and tragically ("I spread rumors about my gay classmate to see how people would react if they found out about me"). Some postcards such as "I used to write poems and dream of being famous...now I just do drag" leave one wondering if the sender has made peace with his/her status or mourns lost (or perceived lost) potential.
Several of the postcards are humorous and may share a secret one can relate with (no, I won't share which ones), gay or straight. A a few are even uplifting: "I believe I will achieve something truly great in this lifetime. I am going to be 53 tomorrow."
Interestingly, more secrets than not it seems deal with deception as opposed to sheer covertness. The sender has lied rather than merely failed to disclose or kept hidden information or an aspect of their life. Many represent some sense of failure in life, a sense of incompleteness, a lack of achievement or worth of being: a reminder that ultimately most people just want love and acceptance.
Not surprisingly, a few deal with gay or gay-related themes, both amusingly ("I had gay sex at church camp. Three times") and tragically ("I spread rumors about my gay classmate to see how people would react if they found out about me"). Some postcards such as "I used to write poems and dream of being famous...now I just do drag" leave one wondering if the sender has made peace with his/her status or mourns lost (or perceived lost) potential.
Several of the postcards are humorous and may share a secret one can relate with (no, I won't share which ones), gay or straight. A a few are even uplifting: "I believe I will achieve something truly great in this lifetime. I am going to be 53 tomorrow."
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Out on a Limb
When is it appropriate to "out" one's self, if self is so inclined to do such things? As part of my interests and profession, I do not infrequently give presentations. I also teach a class. And, despite being an out and proud gay man, I often find myself wondering if and when it is appropriate to disclose my sexuality.
I am a firm believer in my need to be an example and role model to any gay men who may not already be out: that is ok to be out and that you can lead a happy, productive, fulfilled life as an out man. I also want any gay men in my class or workshop to feel like he has someone to talk to or ask questions to, if he might be looking for somebody else to connect with who has shared his experience: you can't tell who is gay just by looking at them, so connecting with each other can be difficult.
I don't, as a matter of course, just blurt it out. My sexuality usually only arises when doing some type of personal disclosure icebreaker or when I'm teaching on diversity or leadership. In class, I like to disclose realitively early because I'm about to spend a long few months with these people and if my sexuality is going to be a problem for a student, I'd like to save us both some small amount of trouble. Also, it provides me some shorthand; I don't have to back up when the person asks me during a casual conversation, "did you just say your husband?"
Of course part of me feels like it isn't anybody's business and certainly they don't have a right to know this about me. Some people would argue that it is inappropriate to disclose my sexuality; after all, heterosexuals don't flaunt their sexuality in class. But of course they do. They can talk, without thought or hesistation, about their girl/boyfriend or husband/wife. I, on the other hand, frequently think about what kind of ramificiations talking about my husband will have on the situation at hand. Announcing that I am gay has actually helped prevent some awkward situations. Of course it creates some too, but then I'm prepared for that and the perverse side of me enjoys the controversy I've just caused.
A recent uncomfortable moment happened when I was talking with a college student who mentioned that he had recently earned his Eagle Award as a Boy Scout. I was congratulating him and mentioned that I had been a Cub Scout, never taking the initiative to be a Boy Scout, butthat my husband was an Eagle Scout too and so I knew how much work went into that. The previously engaging conversation went stone dead at that point. The student became noticeably uncomfortable and so did I; I admittably was trying to put out there the message that gays are Boy Scouts too, but I was trying to be casual about it. Instead, I got the sound of crickets and an atomic bomb at the same time.
Outing myself early can produce interesting results: More often than not, I receive words of support and encouragement; sometimes people tell me about parents, siblings, or other relatives that are gay or lesbian.
Opening avenues for discussion on several levels is good, but what doI lose, if anything? Does outing myself early cut me off from people who would otherwise hear my message? Am I forgoing a relationship that could truly change a person's perspective later on after mutual trust and respect has been established?
Obviously, no easy answer exists. Appropriateness, motive, safety, educational opportunites, and convenience all converge to create a puzzle that must be solved differently on an almost daily basis. Being out involves regularly stepping out on a limb, hoping that you make a higher connection with people without the branch snapping under your feet.
I am a firm believer in my need to be an example and role model to any gay men who may not already be out: that is ok to be out and that you can lead a happy, productive, fulfilled life as an out man. I also want any gay men in my class or workshop to feel like he has someone to talk to or ask questions to, if he might be looking for somebody else to connect with who has shared his experience: you can't tell who is gay just by looking at them, so connecting with each other can be difficult.
I don't, as a matter of course, just blurt it out. My sexuality usually only arises when doing some type of personal disclosure icebreaker or when I'm teaching on diversity or leadership. In class, I like to disclose realitively early because I'm about to spend a long few months with these people and if my sexuality is going to be a problem for a student, I'd like to save us both some small amount of trouble. Also, it provides me some shorthand; I don't have to back up when the person asks me during a casual conversation, "did you just say your husband?"
Of course part of me feels like it isn't anybody's business and certainly they don't have a right to know this about me. Some people would argue that it is inappropriate to disclose my sexuality; after all, heterosexuals don't flaunt their sexuality in class. But of course they do. They can talk, without thought or hesistation, about their girl/boyfriend or husband/wife. I, on the other hand, frequently think about what kind of ramificiations talking about my husband will have on the situation at hand. Announcing that I am gay has actually helped prevent some awkward situations. Of course it creates some too, but then I'm prepared for that and the perverse side of me enjoys the controversy I've just caused.
A recent uncomfortable moment happened when I was talking with a college student who mentioned that he had recently earned his Eagle Award as a Boy Scout. I was congratulating him and mentioned that I had been a Cub Scout, never taking the initiative to be a Boy Scout, butthat my husband was an Eagle Scout too and so I knew how much work went into that. The previously engaging conversation went stone dead at that point. The student became noticeably uncomfortable and so did I; I admittably was trying to put out there the message that gays are Boy Scouts too, but I was trying to be casual about it. Instead, I got the sound of crickets and an atomic bomb at the same time.
Outing myself early can produce interesting results: More often than not, I receive words of support and encouragement; sometimes people tell me about parents, siblings, or other relatives that are gay or lesbian.
Opening avenues for discussion on several levels is good, but what doI lose, if anything? Does outing myself early cut me off from people who would otherwise hear my message? Am I forgoing a relationship that could truly change a person's perspective later on after mutual trust and respect has been established?
Obviously, no easy answer exists. Appropriateness, motive, safety, educational opportunites, and convenience all converge to create a puzzle that must be solved differently on an almost daily basis. Being out involves regularly stepping out on a limb, hoping that you make a higher connection with people without the branch snapping under your feet.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
To The Special Women in My Life
Congratulations to my sister, Lesley, for graduating college!
Lesley earned her BA in English, just like big brother. She looked dazzling in her new earrings and sassy in her cute shoes. Lesley was one of the first people I came out to and has been a wonderful support to me. She has also been an outspoken advocate for gay people in her college classes and with her peer group. She has gone beyond the call of simply being a loving sister and has acted as a true ally to me and my husband. Lesley was a great sister even before I came out and it's never been truer. She has a very bright future ahead of her as the loving, beautiful, and creative person that she is.
And I cannot forget Mom during the coming and passing of Mother's Day. Nobody could ask for a greater mother, truly. I remember during college commenting to a professor that my mother was probably an ISFJ (that's Myers-Briggs type if you don't know. You can go here to get something very much like it). My professor said that it was the perfect mom personality. That professor was right. I also hope that my sister and I take after our mom in the looks department; she's a vision of youth.
My deepest love to both of you.
Lesley earned her BA in English, just like big brother. She looked dazzling in her new earrings and sassy in her cute shoes. Lesley was one of the first people I came out to and has been a wonderful support to me. She has also been an outspoken advocate for gay people in her college classes and with her peer group. She has gone beyond the call of simply being a loving sister and has acted as a true ally to me and my husband. Lesley was a great sister even before I came out and it's never been truer. She has a very bright future ahead of her as the loving, beautiful, and creative person that she is.
And I cannot forget Mom during the coming and passing of Mother's Day. Nobody could ask for a greater mother, truly. I remember during college commenting to a professor that my mother was probably an ISFJ (that's Myers-Briggs type if you don't know. You can go here to get something very much like it). My professor said that it was the perfect mom personality. That professor was right. I also hope that my sister and I take after our mom in the looks department; she's a vision of youth.
My deepest love to both of you.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
The Latte of Christ
I have frequently bemoaned the current trends in modern Christianity here. Fundamentalism has taken far too strong a grasp into the modern church. But, how has religous common sense been replaced by fantatical dogmatism? Part of that answer is the modern mega-church.
Many of the churches who have built congregations into the thousands are the churches putting forth ideas of non-acceptance and blind adoption of their tenets. Mega-churches are more like country clubs than places of worship; their popularity has been predicated on making congregants feel like members of an exclusive and priviledge elite. And part of your membership requirements is agreeing with what the church tells you to believe.
But why accept those tenets? What makes mega-churches so attractive in the first place? These exerpts from an article in the April 27th edition of the Washington Post reveal how:
For Church on the Move, one of the Bible Belt's fastest-growing nondenominational churches, the efforts to attract the next generation of believers comes at a 92,000-square-foot state-of-the-art community entertainment complex called Oneighty -- complete with basketball courts, 20 Apple iPod centers, 20 computers and countless video play stations suspended from the ceiling.
After listening to an hour-long sermon and Christian music performed by a 10-member rock band, students have full run of the place. It is a model that has been adopted by several hundred churches nationwide. "They make church fun," Ramiro Satoe, 13, said as he aggressively worked the race-car arcade game on a recent Wednesday night.
In the next few months, Church on the Move, which has 12,000 members, will renovate its lobby areas, putting in a cafe and conservation areas.
"We want to make our halls like Barnes & Noble -- feel at home, get here early, stay late . . . where we can talk about life issues, we can get to know each other," he said.
Indeed, gone are long fire-and-brimstone services. Wednesdays now tend to be more casual, social and personal -- a time to study the Bible, but also interact with like-minded worshipers who are often outnumbered on Sundays by what the devout church community calls the drop-in "seekers."
So, obviously the answer is: clever marketing and upper-middle class amenities. Really, ecclesiastical teaching has been replaced with Ipods, or at least made more interesting and palpable because you're sipping on a double mocha latte while listening to it. Also note the in-crowd attitude displayed by referring to Sunday-only worshippers as "drop-in 'seekers'." Sounds mildly condescending, doesn't it? These casual seekers aren't seen as being part of the truly committed, video-game playing, rock music listening church community.
I certainly don't begrudge a church providing entertainment outside of worship services and a comfortable environment for church members, but the whole purpose of church, to worship God and study God's teachings, seems to have taken a serious backseat in favor of church-malls and church-coffee shops. Malls and coffee shops where only the most devout and elite are truly welcome.
Thus are the politics of exclusion formed early in the fundamentalist world: through selective inclusion. So people who would probably be uncomfortable discussing homosexuality and gay issues but otherwise open become people who will not tolerate the moral threat posed by the "gay agenda." Their conversion from tolerant people to people who exclude others is predicated on their own fear that they will be excluded from their newfound church club of convenience and entertainment.
Membership to a church or participation in sanctified video games has overtaken the true practice of Christianity. The two have been great confused, as evidenced by this quote in the same Post article:
"Christians understand that church is not an activity -- it's a lifestyle," said Buddy George, a pastor at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., home church of Rick Warren, author of the best-selling "The Purpose-Driven Life."
Like many modern Christians, Pastor George has it wrong. Church is an activity. Christianity and worship is a lifestyle.
Many of the churches who have built congregations into the thousands are the churches putting forth ideas of non-acceptance and blind adoption of their tenets. Mega-churches are more like country clubs than places of worship; their popularity has been predicated on making congregants feel like members of an exclusive and priviledge elite. And part of your membership requirements is agreeing with what the church tells you to believe.
But why accept those tenets? What makes mega-churches so attractive in the first place? These exerpts from an article in the April 27th edition of the Washington Post reveal how:
For Church on the Move, one of the Bible Belt's fastest-growing nondenominational churches, the efforts to attract the next generation of believers comes at a 92,000-square-foot state-of-the-art community entertainment complex called Oneighty -- complete with basketball courts, 20 Apple iPod centers, 20 computers and countless video play stations suspended from the ceiling.
After listening to an hour-long sermon and Christian music performed by a 10-member rock band, students have full run of the place. It is a model that has been adopted by several hundred churches nationwide. "They make church fun," Ramiro Satoe, 13, said as he aggressively worked the race-car arcade game on a recent Wednesday night.
In the next few months, Church on the Move, which has 12,000 members, will renovate its lobby areas, putting in a cafe and conservation areas.
"We want to make our halls like Barnes & Noble -- feel at home, get here early, stay late . . . where we can talk about life issues, we can get to know each other," he said.
Indeed, gone are long fire-and-brimstone services. Wednesdays now tend to be more casual, social and personal -- a time to study the Bible, but also interact with like-minded worshipers who are often outnumbered on Sundays by what the devout church community calls the drop-in "seekers."
So, obviously the answer is: clever marketing and upper-middle class amenities. Really, ecclesiastical teaching has been replaced with Ipods, or at least made more interesting and palpable because you're sipping on a double mocha latte while listening to it. Also note the in-crowd attitude displayed by referring to Sunday-only worshippers as "drop-in 'seekers'." Sounds mildly condescending, doesn't it? These casual seekers aren't seen as being part of the truly committed, video-game playing, rock music listening church community.
I certainly don't begrudge a church providing entertainment outside of worship services and a comfortable environment for church members, but the whole purpose of church, to worship God and study God's teachings, seems to have taken a serious backseat in favor of church-malls and church-coffee shops. Malls and coffee shops where only the most devout and elite are truly welcome.
Thus are the politics of exclusion formed early in the fundamentalist world: through selective inclusion. So people who would probably be uncomfortable discussing homosexuality and gay issues but otherwise open become people who will not tolerate the moral threat posed by the "gay agenda." Their conversion from tolerant people to people who exclude others is predicated on their own fear that they will be excluded from their newfound church club of convenience and entertainment.
Membership to a church or participation in sanctified video games has overtaken the true practice of Christianity. The two have been great confused, as evidenced by this quote in the same Post article:
"Christians understand that church is not an activity -- it's a lifestyle," said Buddy George, a pastor at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., home church of Rick Warren, author of the best-selling "The Purpose-Driven Life."
Like many modern Christians, Pastor George has it wrong. Church is an activity. Christianity and worship is a lifestyle.
Friday, April 08, 2005
The Real Threat of Gay Marriage
NPR's weekly program This American Life recently dedicated its hour to the topic of "The Sanctity of Marriage." (Click the link and search for the title - you can listen to the whole program free.) The first section of the show covered the work of Dr. John Gottman, founder of the Gottman Institute. Dr. Gottman and his associates study predictors of marital success. They also teach the techniques that they have discovered to be successful in happily married couples
Gottman and his team observe couples that have been asked to discuss a topic they disagree on (and according to Dr. Gottman's research and common sense, all couples disagree on something (and usually about certain key subjects)) and then study that interaction. While the couple discusses the issue, researchers categorize every level of interaction: from what is actually said to how it is said (not just the emotion behind it but the rate, tone, pitch, volume, etc. of speech) to facial expressions and body language to how couples respond to each other.
Gottman's research includes same-sex couples. Dr. Gottman's research sample of same-sex couples is very small (21 lesbian and 21 gay male couples )but has produced interesting results. If the results are representative, straights could be in real trouble.
Dr. Gottman tells reporter Ira Glass that same-sex couples are not just as good as straight couples, but are "even better" when it comes to handling conflict. He notes that compared to 42 straight marriages of the same length and satisfaction), same-sex couples were better at "listening when criticized,... [being] less defensive,...[and being] more positive." He notes a conversation one gay-male couple had regarding sex initiation where one of the men told his partner that he didn't have the kind of body he was turned on by. The partner acknowledged that and then re-asked the original question. Dr. Gottman compares that to a male-female couple: how many wives would not become defensive and upset when told her husband didn't find her body attractive.
Dr. Gottman doesn't know why these same-sex couples did better. Possibly, he postulates, it's simply "easier for men to talk men" and likewise for women.
Also, interestingly, Dr. Gottman notes that it's impossible to find government funding for research on committed homosexual relationships or their sustainment without being very careful about the types of words used in a grant proposal. Certain watchdog organizations use computers to locate certain words like "gay", "lesbian", and "homosexual" to protest any government funding. As such, those proposal aren't even reviewed. This is "the kind of climate in which we're working" Dr. Gottman notes.
Unfortunately, it's not surprising that certain elements of our society,don't want gays to have successful relationships and that our government, rather than doing the right thing, bows to the pressure these zealots exert. It's also not surprising that almost no major press coverage has been given to Dr. Gottman's (admittably limited) results on same-sex relationships.
The general population, and I believe a good portion of the gay community, wants to buy into the stereotype and the hype: we can't have stable relationships. We seem desperately to need to believe the idea that we're so flawed that we can't commit to one another. This idea certainly allows those among us who are promiscuous and want nothing more out of life than meaningless sex and drugs to rationalize their irresponsible behavior.
We are no more flawed than any straight person. We are told we are flawed constantly; others would have us believe that something is wrong with us, but I believe that it is life with those messages that make us better in relationships. Perhaps we are more sensitive to our spouse's viewpoint because our own viewpoint is so often denigrated in society. We know what it's like to be told we are bad and wrong, so we are reluctant to automatically label another person as such. Conflicts then become less about "winning" (oppressing the other viewpoint or need) or villianizing our opposition, but about giving that person the understanding and opportunity to express his/her side that we so often wish others would give us.
The information I quote in this entry can be found beginning around the 25 minute mark. After this segment, the program tears into DOMA with a satirical eye and also seriously looks at the legal arguments being used against gay marriage. However, I recommend listening to the entirety of the excellent program.
Gottman and his team observe couples that have been asked to discuss a topic they disagree on (and according to Dr. Gottman's research and common sense, all couples disagree on something (and usually about certain key subjects)) and then study that interaction. While the couple discusses the issue, researchers categorize every level of interaction: from what is actually said to how it is said (not just the emotion behind it but the rate, tone, pitch, volume, etc. of speech) to facial expressions and body language to how couples respond to each other.
Gottman's research includes same-sex couples. Dr. Gottman's research sample of same-sex couples is very small (21 lesbian and 21 gay male couples )but has produced interesting results. If the results are representative, straights could be in real trouble.
Dr. Gottman tells reporter Ira Glass that same-sex couples are not just as good as straight couples, but are "even better" when it comes to handling conflict. He notes that compared to 42 straight marriages of the same length and satisfaction), same-sex couples were better at "listening when criticized,... [being] less defensive,...[and being] more positive." He notes a conversation one gay-male couple had regarding sex initiation where one of the men told his partner that he didn't have the kind of body he was turned on by. The partner acknowledged that and then re-asked the original question. Dr. Gottman compares that to a male-female couple: how many wives would not become defensive and upset when told her husband didn't find her body attractive.
Dr. Gottman doesn't know why these same-sex couples did better. Possibly, he postulates, it's simply "easier for men to talk men" and likewise for women.
Also, interestingly, Dr. Gottman notes that it's impossible to find government funding for research on committed homosexual relationships or their sustainment without being very careful about the types of words used in a grant proposal. Certain watchdog organizations use computers to locate certain words like "gay", "lesbian", and "homosexual" to protest any government funding. As such, those proposal aren't even reviewed. This is "the kind of climate in which we're working" Dr. Gottman notes.
Unfortunately, it's not surprising that certain elements of our society,don't want gays to have successful relationships and that our government, rather than doing the right thing, bows to the pressure these zealots exert. It's also not surprising that almost no major press coverage has been given to Dr. Gottman's (admittably limited) results on same-sex relationships.
The general population, and I believe a good portion of the gay community, wants to buy into the stereotype and the hype: we can't have stable relationships. We seem desperately to need to believe the idea that we're so flawed that we can't commit to one another. This idea certainly allows those among us who are promiscuous and want nothing more out of life than meaningless sex and drugs to rationalize their irresponsible behavior.
We are no more flawed than any straight person. We are told we are flawed constantly; others would have us believe that something is wrong with us, but I believe that it is life with those messages that make us better in relationships. Perhaps we are more sensitive to our spouse's viewpoint because our own viewpoint is so often denigrated in society. We know what it's like to be told we are bad and wrong, so we are reluctant to automatically label another person as such. Conflicts then become less about "winning" (oppressing the other viewpoint or need) or villianizing our opposition, but about giving that person the understanding and opportunity to express his/her side that we so often wish others would give us.
The information I quote in this entry can be found beginning around the 25 minute mark. After this segment, the program tears into DOMA with a satirical eye and also seriously looks at the legal arguments being used against gay marriage. However, I recommend listening to the entirety of the excellent program.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Planet Out-of-Line
DJ,
Thanks for the encouraging words. Funny you should mention the Pope as subject matter, since that's exactly the topic that was on my mind currently.
For the record, I was raised and still consider myself to be Southern Baptist as far as a religious denomination goes; my partner is Catholic. Neither of us are huge fans of Pope John Paul II, particularly in regard to his rigid stance on issues surrounding gays in the church.
The Pope could easily be called neglectful towards gay Catholics. He very easily could have made the distinction that he feels that homosexuality is non-Biblical, but that gays should be welcome in the Church with love and not denied communion or any other service, ministry, or rite of the church. He didn't take the opportunity to bring his people together in love in harmony despite his Biblical interpretation. He may have gone further by taking actions that allowed gays to be villianized and ostracized.
It's hard to understand how a man who was subject to oppression from Nazis and Communists could fail to see the evils of perpetuating oppression upon any other group. Still, he likely took the stances he did out of a sense of what he thought was truly right; unlike many leaders of the religious right, John Paul II probably acted, for right or wrong, good or evil, with the best of intentions with no ambition of bringing in more money, gaining political advantage, or solidifying a power base. This does not excuse his failure, but it does contextualize it.
On April 1st, PlanetOut, a leading gay website, sent out its regularly scheduled article updates on email. The subject line was "The Pope's Legacy of Homophobia."
Ironically, a "Social Grace" column, PlanetOut's answer to Miss Manners is also listed in this update. PlanetOut could have taken some lessons in manners; rather than sending this exceptionally insulting, insensitive, tasteless email. At the time that the email was sent, the Pope was clearly in the last stages of his life, on the verge of death.
He did then, and does now, as he rests in repose, deserve a show of respect. For his faults and failures in this area, the man did much good in his life. Regardless, he, like any other human being, deserves respect in death. The man man have committed evil to his gay members, but attacking the Pope does an evil to gay Catholics as well. It is hard to explain the connection I have seen between my partner and other Catholics with the Pope, but it is very tangible and important to them. Attacking the Pope is an indirect attack upon Catholics; it causes harm to an already harmed population.
There will be ample time to discuss his failures and lack of love and attention to his gay congregation. But, for now, we should let him rest in peace. He deserves the respect that any human, full of flaws and foilbles, but also capable of great love and compassion, deserves. This does not excuse him, but rathers shows ourselves to be something other than the evil he may have believed us to be.
Thanks for the encouraging words. Funny you should mention the Pope as subject matter, since that's exactly the topic that was on my mind currently.
For the record, I was raised and still consider myself to be Southern Baptist as far as a religious denomination goes; my partner is Catholic. Neither of us are huge fans of Pope John Paul II, particularly in regard to his rigid stance on issues surrounding gays in the church.
The Pope could easily be called neglectful towards gay Catholics. He very easily could have made the distinction that he feels that homosexuality is non-Biblical, but that gays should be welcome in the Church with love and not denied communion or any other service, ministry, or rite of the church. He didn't take the opportunity to bring his people together in love in harmony despite his Biblical interpretation. He may have gone further by taking actions that allowed gays to be villianized and ostracized.
It's hard to understand how a man who was subject to oppression from Nazis and Communists could fail to see the evils of perpetuating oppression upon any other group. Still, he likely took the stances he did out of a sense of what he thought was truly right; unlike many leaders of the religious right, John Paul II probably acted, for right or wrong, good or evil, with the best of intentions with no ambition of bringing in more money, gaining political advantage, or solidifying a power base. This does not excuse his failure, but it does contextualize it.
On April 1st, PlanetOut, a leading gay website, sent out its regularly scheduled article updates on email. The subject line was "The Pope's Legacy of Homophobia."
Ironically, a "Social Grace" column, PlanetOut's answer to Miss Manners is also listed in this update. PlanetOut could have taken some lessons in manners; rather than sending this exceptionally insulting, insensitive, tasteless email. At the time that the email was sent, the Pope was clearly in the last stages of his life, on the verge of death.
He did then, and does now, as he rests in repose, deserve a show of respect. For his faults and failures in this area, the man did much good in his life. Regardless, he, like any other human being, deserves respect in death. The man man have committed evil to his gay members, but attacking the Pope does an evil to gay Catholics as well. It is hard to explain the connection I have seen between my partner and other Catholics with the Pope, but it is very tangible and important to them. Attacking the Pope is an indirect attack upon Catholics; it causes harm to an already harmed population.
There will be ample time to discuss his failures and lack of love and attention to his gay congregation. But, for now, we should let him rest in peace. He deserves the respect that any human, full of flaws and foilbles, but also capable of great love and compassion, deserves. This does not excuse him, but rathers shows ourselves to be something other than the evil he may have believed us to be.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Been a Long Time Blogging
Hi, I haven't gone away; I'm still here.
I haven't entered in quite some time because I've found it difficult to get wound up about anything in particular because it all seems to be the same old stuff over and over again, sometimes repackaged and recycled.
Gays and lesbians continued to be hammered by state consitutional amendments and the religious right. Bush continues to blatantly lie to the public and get away with it. We are still in Iraq and will probably be in Iran before Bush is out of office. The news media continues to focus on the banal and unimportant and so does Congress: steroids and Shiavo. Politics among gay organizations continue to hinder any real progress.
So, I've had very little to say that I thought was new or interesting. I could bitch and moan, but I've done a lot of that and didn't want to continue. Instead, I've had a lot of time focusing on doing instead of saying.
My work has been hectic as I spend enormous amounts of time developing a course sequence and sharpening my own skills and abilities as an instructor for freshmen interested in becoming leaders. Also, my volunteer work with our local "gay hotline", the Gay and Lesbian Switchboard of Charlotte has taken up my remaining free time as we both struggle to survive as well as make some impressive improvements and strides in service and outreach to callers and our volunteers.
Blogging would have felt like spinning my wheels. These activities make me feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. I have no idea who, if anybody, I'm reaching with my blog. Even my website, which used to bring me at least one email a month, has produced no contacts. So, time here feels far less productive than my other endeavors.
That said, I am not folding up shop. I actually have some thoughts and information to share. So, if you're out there, stick around. I'll be blogging around the mountain when I come.
I haven't entered in quite some time because I've found it difficult to get wound up about anything in particular because it all seems to be the same old stuff over and over again, sometimes repackaged and recycled.
Gays and lesbians continued to be hammered by state consitutional amendments and the religious right. Bush continues to blatantly lie to the public and get away with it. We are still in Iraq and will probably be in Iran before Bush is out of office. The news media continues to focus on the banal and unimportant and so does Congress: steroids and Shiavo. Politics among gay organizations continue to hinder any real progress.
So, I've had very little to say that I thought was new or interesting. I could bitch and moan, but I've done a lot of that and didn't want to continue. Instead, I've had a lot of time focusing on doing instead of saying.
My work has been hectic as I spend enormous amounts of time developing a course sequence and sharpening my own skills and abilities as an instructor for freshmen interested in becoming leaders. Also, my volunteer work with our local "gay hotline", the Gay and Lesbian Switchboard of Charlotte has taken up my remaining free time as we both struggle to survive as well as make some impressive improvements and strides in service and outreach to callers and our volunteers.
Blogging would have felt like spinning my wheels. These activities make me feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. I have no idea who, if anybody, I'm reaching with my blog. Even my website, which used to bring me at least one email a month, has produced no contacts. So, time here feels far less productive than my other endeavors.
That said, I am not folding up shop. I actually have some thoughts and information to share. So, if you're out there, stick around. I'll be blogging around the mountain when I come.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Homer Sexual
The Simpsons couldn't be less controversial nowadays. Fox clearly tried to improve ratings by fanning the flames of controversy as Sunday's episode of the Simpsons centered on Springfield's quest for more tourism dollars by legalizing gay marriage. The episode was remarkably bland. Although funnier than the last few episodes of the season, it easily bypassed the more controversial, provocative (and sometimes obvious) jokes.
Yet every few minutes, the local Fox news program had a commerical where "Charlotteans react to the controversy." But it hasn't aired yet, I kept thinking. How can people react? I refused to watch the non-event coverage. Peter did, however, and it turns out one woman called in to say she was never watching Fox again. Now, for Fox, this is actually a huge ratings blow.
I did read an article in the New York Times where the president of the Parents Televison Council said that, despite not viewing the episode in question, gay marriage shouldn't be covered in a cartoon where children would be exposed to the subject matter. Obviously, this raises the question if the person had ever viewed any episode of the Simpsons. If so, he might have guessed that no child should be exposed to almost any single episode of the Simpsons. You would think people policing TV would actually watch it sometimes.
Yet every few minutes, the local Fox news program had a commerical where "Charlotteans react to the controversy." But it hasn't aired yet, I kept thinking. How can people react? I refused to watch the non-event coverage. Peter did, however, and it turns out one woman called in to say she was never watching Fox again. Now, for Fox, this is actually a huge ratings blow.
I did read an article in the New York Times where the president of the Parents Televison Council said that, despite not viewing the episode in question, gay marriage shouldn't be covered in a cartoon where children would be exposed to the subject matter. Obviously, this raises the question if the person had ever viewed any episode of the Simpsons. If so, he might have guessed that no child should be exposed to almost any single episode of the Simpsons. You would think people policing TV would actually watch it sometimes.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Expressions of Love
I hope everybody had a lovely Valentine's Day. It was pop culture love around the Thorsett-Denton household as we exchanged tokens of affection via The West Wing and Angel.
Even if you had no boyfriend or s.o. to share it with, I hope you loved yourself...in the best possible sense of that phrase. If not, go out and buy yourself some flowers or something nice. It may have been Black Monday, but remember, black is slimming.
Here's a little love from Canada (pulled from Rex Wockner's files):
"It is the responsibility of Parliament to ensure that minority rightsare uniform across the country. The government cannot, and should not, pick and choose which rights they will defend and which rights they will ignore."
--Canadian Justice Minister Irwin Cotler as the government introduced legislation in Parliament Feb. 1 to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide. Courts already have legalized it in eight of Canada's 13 provinces and territories.
And no love for the dear president...
"George Bush's second inaugural extravaganza was every bit as repugnantas I had expected, a vulgar orgy of triumphalism probably unmatched since Napoleon crowned himself emperor of the French in Notre Dame in1804. The little Corsican corporal had a few decent victories to his escutcheon. Lodi, Marengo, that sort of thing. Not so this strutting Texan mountebank, with his chimpanzee smirk and his born-again banalities delivered in that constipated syntax that sounds the way cold cheeseburgers look..., and his sinuous evasions and his brazen lies, and his sleight of hand theft from the American poor, and his rape of the environment, and his lethal conviction that the world must submit to his Pax Americana or be bombed into charcoal."
--Mike Carlton writing in the Sydney Morning Herald, Jan. 22.
Even if you had no boyfriend or s.o. to share it with, I hope you loved yourself...in the best possible sense of that phrase. If not, go out and buy yourself some flowers or something nice. It may have been Black Monday, but remember, black is slimming.
Here's a little love from Canada (pulled from Rex Wockner's files):
"It is the responsibility of Parliament to ensure that minority rightsare uniform across the country. The government cannot, and should not, pick and choose which rights they will defend and which rights they will ignore."
--Canadian Justice Minister Irwin Cotler as the government introduced legislation in Parliament Feb. 1 to legalize same-sex marriage nationwide. Courts already have legalized it in eight of Canada's 13 provinces and territories.
And no love for the dear president...
"George Bush's second inaugural extravaganza was every bit as repugnantas I had expected, a vulgar orgy of triumphalism probably unmatched since Napoleon crowned himself emperor of the French in Notre Dame in1804. The little Corsican corporal had a few decent victories to his escutcheon. Lodi, Marengo, that sort of thing. Not so this strutting Texan mountebank, with his chimpanzee smirk and his born-again banalities delivered in that constipated syntax that sounds the way cold cheeseburgers look..., and his sinuous evasions and his brazen lies, and his sleight of hand theft from the American poor, and his rape of the environment, and his lethal conviction that the world must submit to his Pax Americana or be bombed into charcoal."
--Mike Carlton writing in the Sydney Morning Herald, Jan. 22.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
It's a Jungle (and Zoo) Out There
Late last year, a study came out that demonstrated that stress in cows' lives increases them being lesbian, at least in Australia.
Far more alarming news, the term "homosexual cow" brings up about 10,000 hits in Google. These two disturbing facts caused everybody's favorite senator, Rick Sanitarium, to urge for the screening of cow meet for homosexuality, lest the American public be turned by too much queer beef. Honest to God, Ricky said on October 8th, "Obviously, this is a matter of grave importance to all parents - this is why I'm committed to making sure packaged beef comes with warning labels if the meat isn't 100% pure heterosexual." I kid you not.
Some conservative alleged intellectuals have suggested that if stress causes homosexuality in cows, then anti-depressants might cure or retard homosexuality in children.
One might try this with penguins as well, since aversion therapy has not succeeded in straighting out some of the queer fowl in Germany. When separated from their mates and forced to socialize with female penguins, the gay male penguins just moped about. Perhaps they needed some Paxil.
Famous New York penguin Roy (of Roy and Silo fame) did recently claim to be bisexual, although the polar bears are saying he was just hanging out with some fag hags.
Far more alarming news, the term "homosexual cow" brings up about 10,000 hits in Google. These two disturbing facts caused everybody's favorite senator, Rick Sanitarium, to urge for the screening of cow meet for homosexuality, lest the American public be turned by too much queer beef. Honest to God, Ricky said on October 8th, "Obviously, this is a matter of grave importance to all parents - this is why I'm committed to making sure packaged beef comes with warning labels if the meat isn't 100% pure heterosexual." I kid you not.
Some conservative alleged intellectuals have suggested that if stress causes homosexuality in cows, then anti-depressants might cure or retard homosexuality in children.
One might try this with penguins as well, since aversion therapy has not succeeded in straighting out some of the queer fowl in Germany. When separated from their mates and forced to socialize with female penguins, the gay male penguins just moped about. Perhaps they needed some Paxil.
Famous New York penguin Roy (of Roy and Silo fame) did recently claim to be bisexual, although the polar bears are saying he was just hanging out with some fag hags.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
I Love Black Women
I do. I loves me some black wemmen.
The bond between gay men and women is legendary, reminiscient of the bond shared between crocodiles and the birds that clean their teeth.
Hmm. Perhaps a better analogy would be...no, that's a pretty accurate parallel. As strong as the bond between gay man and woman can be, I think none are more stronger than that between white gay man and black straight women.
It's almost enough to have your gay license revoked if you are white, gay, and male, and don't have an O.B.S.W. (obligatory black straight woman). I think the bond between us exists so strong because we come from similar circumstances. We are largely overlooked and underestimated by society. We have constant troubles from straight men (hell, men in general, for that matter). We're self-assured and usually sassy about it. And we know we look good no matter what you think about our outfit. It is fab-u-lous, Mr. Mann.
My entire life black women have helped me out. I didn't become aware of this until college, but black women have always stood by my side, even before I was out to myself. They have offered support while shining the harsh light of truth on you. Black women do not let you delude yourself. Are you crying on her shoulder because you've lost your boyfriend by sleeping around? She'll let you know she loves you, but, yes, you are a slut and you need to stop your whoring ways.
Admitedly, not every black woman had been kind or helpful to me (and neither I to to them), but this only brings on bad karma. Somewhere, somehow, they have suffered for breaking the great karmic balance. That's why it's vitally important to treat all black women with respect and dignity. Even if you don't know them, even if they are taking too long to cross the street in those hotpants three sizes too small, you must treat them well. To do otherwise is to invite disaster upon yourself ("oooh, it's gonna rain on yo' head').
Black women are fabulous and fierce. White gay men aspire to be black women, to release our I.N.P.(Inner Nubian Princess).
At the worst time of my life, a black woman gave me strength I didn't possess. At the sickest I've ever been, I was nursed and cared for by a black woman. At my first big interview, I was given a helping hand (literally) from a black woman (she was lesbian, but I love my lesbian sisters too). Whenever I become a drag queen, I have picked the name of a black woman (either Crystal Love or Delicia Butts).
A black woman, Coretta Scott King, has been a vocal advocate for LBGT rights and marriage.
A black woman, Rosa Parks, fueled the black civil rights movement, which gave rise to the gay rights movement.
I hope I have begun to repay some of that love and strength. I try to advocate for all black women whenever I can. I try to give freely of myself to the women who have made my life better.
Black women are beautiful, unpredictable, quick to anger, and full of love and comfort. I think God must be a black woman. Or, at least, I hope so.
The bond between gay men and women is legendary, reminiscient of the bond shared between crocodiles and the birds that clean their teeth.
Hmm. Perhaps a better analogy would be...no, that's a pretty accurate parallel. As strong as the bond between gay man and woman can be, I think none are more stronger than that between white gay man and black straight women.
It's almost enough to have your gay license revoked if you are white, gay, and male, and don't have an O.B.S.W. (obligatory black straight woman). I think the bond between us exists so strong because we come from similar circumstances. We are largely overlooked and underestimated by society. We have constant troubles from straight men (hell, men in general, for that matter). We're self-assured and usually sassy about it. And we know we look good no matter what you think about our outfit. It is fab-u-lous, Mr. Mann.
My entire life black women have helped me out. I didn't become aware of this until college, but black women have always stood by my side, even before I was out to myself. They have offered support while shining the harsh light of truth on you. Black women do not let you delude yourself. Are you crying on her shoulder because you've lost your boyfriend by sleeping around? She'll let you know she loves you, but, yes, you are a slut and you need to stop your whoring ways.
Admitedly, not every black woman had been kind or helpful to me (and neither I to to them), but this only brings on bad karma. Somewhere, somehow, they have suffered for breaking the great karmic balance. That's why it's vitally important to treat all black women with respect and dignity. Even if you don't know them, even if they are taking too long to cross the street in those hotpants three sizes too small, you must treat them well. To do otherwise is to invite disaster upon yourself ("oooh, it's gonna rain on yo' head').
Black women are fabulous and fierce. White gay men aspire to be black women, to release our I.N.P.(Inner Nubian Princess).
At the worst time of my life, a black woman gave me strength I didn't possess. At the sickest I've ever been, I was nursed and cared for by a black woman. At my first big interview, I was given a helping hand (literally) from a black woman (she was lesbian, but I love my lesbian sisters too). Whenever I become a drag queen, I have picked the name of a black woman (either Crystal Love or Delicia Butts).
A black woman, Coretta Scott King, has been a vocal advocate for LBGT rights and marriage.
A black woman, Rosa Parks, fueled the black civil rights movement, which gave rise to the gay rights movement.
I hope I have begun to repay some of that love and strength. I try to advocate for all black women whenever I can. I try to give freely of myself to the women who have made my life better.
Black women are beautiful, unpredictable, quick to anger, and full of love and comfort. I think God must be a black woman. Or, at least, I hope so.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)